All of the stars have faded away
by hollygwood
Summary: After high school Kurt and Blaine lost touch in a way they never expected, then their paths collide again, but Kurt's changed and Blaine's still hurting. Set post college in NYC. Multi chapter.
1. Chapter 1

All of the stars have faded away - _just try not to worry, you'll see them someday_

Hello! So this is the first multi chapter I've written in ages, it's also the first not high school but after college fiction I've ever written for Glee, so please bear with me! I'm kind of busy with uni work and stuff right now so I've been writing one shots, but this has been in my mind for a few months and it wouldn't flow nicely in a one shot, and got way too long before I'd even explored what I wanted to explore. This probably won't be that long, but I don't know yet. I'm also going to try really hard to keep it going...I hope you like it, if you do obviously alert/favourite and review if you'd like, I really hope it's not terrible.

Also, a quick note; I'm British but when writing fiction about American characters I feel the need to use the 'slang' or words (mom, sidewalk etc)it doesn't feel right other wise, so sorry if that sounds a bit off at times, I'm not used to it.

I've gone on for way too long, basically this is Klaine post college living in New York City. It's rated T for language, plus uncomfortable scenes involving violence and stuff. Er yeah.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, the awesome threesome are doing a far better job than I ever could.

Blaine Anderson was sat down on his beaten up brown leather sofa in his apartment in New York city, one arm resting lightly on the arm rest. The TV wasn't on, his apple mac lay ignored by his side, no music was playing, he simply stared out of the window at the cars driving crazily through the city; mostly yellow cabs with the occasional normal car. He also stared at the constant throng of people walking to and from places. He'd only lived in the city for a few months and it already felt more like home than Ohio ever had. But for once he wasn't admiring his admittedly spectacularly scenic view of the beautiful city. His hazel eyes barely noticed it, in fact.

Blaine had moved to New York after college, and was pretty lucky in how it had turned out. He was currently working as a session musician, sometimes guitar, sometimes piano, sometimes backing vocals, while writing his own stuff and recording it with any spare time and money he had at the end of the month. But his session jobs, although not his dream, were enough to keep him in this beautiful apartment, even if it was sometimes a decision of food vs. new guitar strings or sheet music, a choice Blaine never made very wisely, he thought, with a smile.

But tonight, work was the last thing on his mind. He'd spent the evening at a bar and restaurant called Chilli, a place where there was live music most nights, and where the trendy bar was always heaving with people chilling down after a long days work. It being Friday night, Blaine and some musician friends had spent an enjoyable evening there; Blaine had played the venue a couple of times before and had always gone down well, he knew the management and the evening had been nice; a few tequilla shots and a laugh with the friends he'd come to love since living in this city, a place he used to only dream of in high school.

But then, something had happened, something that catapulted Blaine into the past with a jolt. He had turned his head towards the other end of the bar and had been met with a pair of eyes he hadn't seen in four years. His heart began to skip and stutter in his chest; he didn't think he'd still have this much impact on Blaine all these years later. He thought he'd gotten over the painful rejection, but stood in this bar, unable to break the gaze of those green eyes, Blaine was very much aware that his heart was still owned wholly by Kurt Hummel.

Blaine swallowed and finally broke his gaze a few seconds later. Kurt looked away too, down at the floor and coughed. Blaine turned back to his friends. "I'll see you later guys, need to jet." When he'd said goodbye to them, he walked slowly towards Kurt, his feet dragging. He wanted to see his friend badly, but four years of separation made Blaine uneasy towards the boy who had once known him inside out, heart and soul.

When Blaine finally reached Kurt, several thoughts flitted through his mind.

The first was; Kurt looks different; and he did. Not in a good way. His hair was scruffy and hanging over his forehead slightly greasily, his skin, though caked in foundation and concealer, looked blotchy. He wore a navy small checked shirt and black jacket, clothes that looked way too conservative for Kurt, a boy who on several occasions in Blaine's presence during high school had worn a freaking skirt, for God's sake!

The second thought was that Kurt's eyes looked different. Sure, they were as green and mesmerizing as they had always been – his eyes had been the first thing Blaine had noticed about the boy all those years ago when they'd met, and yes he still remembered every detail as though it was yesterday. The way he'd never felt hands as soft as that, he'd never felt so happy as he sung every word from his heart, had wondered if he finally understood what love at first sight was – but they were so strange, alien even. The eyes that had previously been alive, on fire, were totally dead. Kurt looked lost, uncomfortable, out of place.

Blaine's third thought was the most disturbing, and it was the thing he had feared most were he ever to bump into Kurt Hummel again. And it was this; fuck, I'm still as in love with him as I've ever been. He closed his eyes and swallowed deeply. He may still feel this way but he'd be damned if he was going to be rejected _again. _

He realised he'd been standing in front of Kurt in silence for several long moments, and he opened his eyes, pleased to see that, although surprised, with his eyes darting like a frightened animal, Kurt did at least look happy to see Blaine.

"Kurt!" Blaine smiled, patting his friend on the arm, wondering when this yawning hole of _crap _had come between them. He'd never wanted it to be like this with Kurt.

"Blaine," Kurt replied, "what a pleasant surprise. Are you living here now?"

"Yep, have been for eight months now. Are you?" Blaine said evenly, taking a seat next to Kurt.

"Yes, I just moved in with..." Kurt was interrupted by a tall man with sculpted cheekbones, ice blue eyes and white blonde hair walking up to him from behind and holding his arm gently but firmly. "With my boyfriend. Jake." His eyes were darting more than ever now, and Blaine couldn't help feeling slightly uncomfortable at the sight of this man. However, trying to ignore the twinge in his heart at seeing Kurt with another man, he stood up to shake Jake's hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Blaine." Jake stared at Blaine, who continued, slightly more uncomfortably than before. "I knew Kurt in high school."

"Were you at the same school?" Jake asked, and Kurt swallowed, flinching slightly as Jake's grip tightened slightly; a factor Blaine didn't miss.

"It's a long story, sort of." Blaine smiled, thinking, for a moment, wistfully of high school and how easy it was at times compared to this.

"Well, one day we should definitely all meet up, but Kurt we sort of need to go." Jake said. His tone wasn't sharp, exactly, but it set Blaine's teeth on edge. Kurt nodded submissively, and followed Jake, who called; "Nice to meet you, Blaine."

"Same for you!" Blaine replied, watching Kurt shuffle after Jake with a quick wave, and wondering when Kurt had gotten like this; submissive was never a word he'd think of to describe Kurt before, Kurt who cut anyone down to size who he thought deserved it (mostly Rachel Berry), and Blaine never realised how much he'd miss that snobby, quick witted, condescending Kurt until he wasn't there anymore.

Sighing, Blaine pulled his brown leather jacket on and walked out of the bar to walk home; he didn't live far, it was only a few blocks away...His thoughts came to a jumbled stop as he heard a slap and a cry. The street was surprisingly quiet, most people still in the bar, not eager to walk out into the chilly streets even to smoke unless they had too. He turned around, but saw nobody. He rounded the corner and saw a cab drive off...his heart began to skip beats again as he swore he recognised that cry.

But no, it couldn't have been, Blaine was jumping to unfair conclusions. Pulling his scarf around his neck tighter he set off home, his head more messed up than it had been in months.

That was how Blaine ended up back home, at gone midnight on a friday night (or saturday morning, depending on how you looked at it) staring at the New York city skyline and wondering quite how Kurt Hummel always managed to send his tail into such a spin.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the alerts and reviews, really appreciated! I guess not much happens in this chapter but it needs to happen to explain what went on with Blaine and Kurt. Flashbacks are in italics. Oh and from now on I'll mention whose POV it's in because Kurt will be having some from after this chapter. I prefer writing Kurt, because I've had a lot more practice at it.

I really babble in these things. Sorry. Enjoy.

I still don't own Glee.

**Blaine**

Blaine was walking down a long corridor. There were doors either side of him as far as he could see, but he had no interest in any of the doors, until one began to pull him, like gravity. He sensed, somewhere inside of him that nothing good lay behind this door but the pull was getting stronger, and then his hand was on the door knob, and he opened it.

He blinked at the scene in front of him; it was a place he hadn't been for years, but equally a place he would never forget. It was the Warblers rehearsal room, the room he spent a vast majority of his school years. It was empty at first glance, but when Blaine looked back two figures had appeared, both dressed in the conservative blue and red blazer and grey trousers of the Dalton uniform.

Blaine felt his heart skip a beat (or several) as he noticed one of the boys was Kurt. This was the Kurt he knew though, not the Kurt from the bar. This Kurt had perfect hair and sparkling eyes. He looked worried though; he was chewing on his lip fiercely. Blaine looked at the other figure and gasped aloud; however neither of the figures looked up when he made the strangled noise. The other figure was himself. His hair was gelled down precisely the way he used to wear it at Dalton, his eyes were sparkling too, excitement shining through them.

Blaine suddenly wanted to be anywhere but there; he knew this scene, he knew what happened and he didn't think he could watch it again, didn't think he could relive this pain again. He tried to move but his feet suddenly felt like they were encased in concrete, and struggle as he might, he was trapped in his own personal hell. The scene began to play out.

"_Blaine." Blaine loved the way his name tripped out of Kurt's perfect lips, the perfect shape of his cheek bones and jaw line, and his neck. It was long and smooth, and Blaine ached to hold it, ached to press his lips to Kurt's, to hold his soft hand and never let it go. "I'm glad you're here. There's something I need to say, and it's not..." Kurt sighed, it was a pretty sound, but his lips were now twisted, and Blaine's stomach flipped. _

_It's now or never, DO IT. "Me too. Can I go first?" Kurt nodded and Blaine took a deep breath, wondering if it was normal for his heart to be thundering at this pace. "You know you're my best friend, Kurt and you know I wouldn't jeopardise that. But..." Blaine swallowed. "I can't keep hiding how I feel about you, it's too hard. And how I feel is. I love you." The three words that had been bouncing around in his head like damn bouncy balls for weeks were finally out there. He wanted his speech to be romantic and clever, instead it had come out awkward and stuttered, but he'd said it, and the way his brain had been twisting in knots the past few weeks he was lucky to have got the words out at all. Blaine couldn't bring himself to look at Kurt for several silent moments. Then he peered up at the taller boy. _

"_Oh." It was a single syllable, barely a word, but to Blaine it said everything; Kurt sounded defeated, confused, but most of all tired. "When I came in here I was going to tell you...I'm going back to McKinley." Kurt twisted his hands together for a couple of minutes and looked at Blaine. "This...me and you. I don't think it can work."_

"_But," Blaine could hear how strangled his voice sounded even to his ears, he saw Kurt wince at the noise but he couldn't help it. "McKinley isn't far, we can make it work."_

"_It's not about that, Blaine." Kurt sighed, walking over to his friend and holding his hand. As much as Blaine yearned for the touch, he pulled it away now. He couldn't bear this proximity when he knew in seconds it was being pulled away from him forever. Because Blaine knew in his heart of hearts their friendship couldn't stand this. He already felt like his heart was physically breaking apart in his chest at the sight of the strong, confident, beautiful boy who stood in front of him. _

"_This was never going to work between us. It would screw me up, maybe you too. On top of everything else I'm a crap magnet, it wouldn't...be fair." The last two words were quiet, and the whole sentence was soft and sad. Blaine tried to say he'd withstand any crap if it meant he could be with Kurt but his tongue suddenly felt like a dry dead weight in his mouth and his heart felt like it was blocking his throat up, and then Kurt patted his arm once and then he heard gentle footsteps and the door gently thudding shut. _

Blaine watched his younger self crumple on the ground, and he clutched his chest desperately, willing himself out of this horror. All of a sudden the scene began to fade from view, and then it started to mix in with plain walls and navy curtains, and suddenly Blaine's eyes flickered open.

He clutched his duvet to his chest and sat up, sweat clinging to his forehead, running an unsteady hand through his matted curly bed hair. He lay back down, sighing, tears on the brink of tripping over his eyelids. He closed them and rubbed his face. A nightmare.

He missed being a child. When you're a child and you have a nightmare your mom comes into your room and tells you not to worry, it was just a dream. When you're an adult you begin to have a different kind of nightmare, far worse than monsters under your bed, because the nightmares are inside of you, they force you to relive the most painful experiences of your life.

They used to haunt Blaine when he'd just transferred to Dalton Academy. Boys shouting abuse at him, boys spitting at him, boys pinning him to the ground and pulling a lighter out of their pocket, flicking it open so close to his face his eyelashes were singed off one by one. Every night for months he'd wake up in a cold sweat and would have to reassure his then room mate Wes that he was ok.

Of course, Blaine knew why this particular scene had been in his nightmare tonight; seeing Kurt would obviously resurrect feelings in Blaine, feelings he knew had to be forced back before they could take over like they had done in high school.

Glancing at his clock, Blaine saw it was nearly seven. Knowing going back to sleep was not on the agenda he got up, showered and made himself breakfast, trying hard all the while not to think about Kurt.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for so many alerts and faves, I really appreciate it. I don't know what I'm doing right or wrong though so if you have anything to say reviews are love. I'm enjoying writing this one, I like being cruel to Kurt I guess, sorry baby :(**

**First chapter from Kurt's perspective (which I have A LOT more practice in). **

**Enjoy. Xx **

**Glee = NOT MINE **

**Kurt**

Kurt stared into the bathroom mirror, his hair hanging in wet strands over his forehead, a towel wrapped around his waist, and felt only disgust at the ugly person looking back at him. To make matters worse, a purple smudge of bruise had bloomed on his left cheekbone after the incident at the bar last night, and to Kurt it only highlighted his pathetic weakness.

He'd never used to feel like this, he remembered when he used to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and love the person who stared back at him. He may have been taunted and bullied and abused for being that person, but the thing that kept him going the very most was that he loved himself. So what if they didn't? They'd be cleaning his car in ten years anyway.

So when did he become this person? He didn't remember, but he felt like he was trapped in it, unable to break free. He thought back to last night.

_Apart from the slap outside the bar, which humiliated Kurt more than it hurt him, Jake hadn't said or done anything after they'd bumped into Blaine, and when Kurt let them into the apartment he took a deep breath and turned to face his boyfriend. Jake's blue eyes were even icier than normal and Kurt swallowed. _

"_So..." Jake began, his face twisted into a smirk. "Blaine. How many times did you fuck him in high school you little slut?"_

"_I...I didn't. Blaine was my friend, nothing more." Kurt replied, hating the stammer in his voice but unable to keep his tone completely even. _

"_I don't believe that, Kurt. I believe that you were attracted to that curly haired hobbit, and that you still are, that you've been plotting ways you can have an affair with him, or leave me for him. Am I wrong?" Jake spat, beginning to pace. _

"_Jake I'm not leaving you, I'd never leave you!" Kurt replied desperately, and Jake laughed, a quiet, mocking sound that set Kurt's teeth on edge. Kurt loved Jake and he needed him, he couldn't function without him – Jake told him that enough times, but when he got like this it terrified Kurt. His tongue twisted and flickered around his mouth, feeling the caps on several of his back teeth from when Jake had lost his temper after Kurt had stayed the night at Puck's without calling and had slammed his fist into Kurt's jaw. _

"_I'd never leave you!" Jake imitated Kurt cruelly and Kurt looked down at floor willing the tears to stop. He squeezed his eyes shut and after several minutes of tense silence he looked back up at Jake. _

_Jake walked towards Kurt, his eyes fiery all of a sudden, like the ice was burning. He clenched his fist, then pulled it back and punched Kurt, clipping his left cheek. Pain exploded in his face and he clutched at it, his eyes squeezed shut, his heart hammering. _

"_I'm going out." Snorted Jake, picking up his keys and walking out of the apartment, slamming the door shut, leaving his boyfriend curled on the floor, tears slowly trickling down his bruising face. _

Kurt was leaning his forehead against the cool bathroom mirror as he remembered the events of last night. He picked up his foundation and rubbed it fiercely on his cheek until every scrap of purple was covered. No one could see how weak he was, and the bruise would only make Jake more furious. Kurt got dressed quickly and sat down on his bed, pulling his knees up to his chest. Suddenly Kurt's iphone buzzed on his bedside table. He picked it up and stared at the message.

**Kurt, I hope I have the right number for you. Just giving you mine in case you ever want to meet up, catch up. Blaine x**

Kurt stared hard at the message. Truth be told he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Blaine since their unexpected meeting at the bar. Jake was at work and would be all day. Kurt replied quickly to the message before he had a chance to change his mind.

**How about today? X**

He fidgeted nervously for several minutes, waiting for Blaine's reply, and when his phone buzzed he snatched it up, peering at the screen.

**Just say when :) **

Kurt typed back a message about meeting at a starbucks near Chilli and picked up his jacket, pushing his hair out of his face and pocketing his phone and keys. Then he left the apartment and walked down the cold crisp street to where he'd agreed to meet Blaine.

He was first to arrive and he stood outside for several minutes alone, pulling a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket and dragging on one tiredly. It wasn't a habit he'd EVER expected to take up, but Jake smoked, and once he'd tried it while slightly drunk. It just felt good sometimes, and Jake would get annoyed if Kurt refused to come out of bars and clubs with him to have a cigarette, so it seemed logical. Kurt snorted, blowing the smoke out and spotting Blaine walking up to him, a small smile on his undeniably beautiful face, as beautiful as ever, in fact.

"Kurt?" Blaine looked surprised, "you smoke?"

"On and off." Kurt replied, nodding at Blaine.

"What about that set of pipes you've got in there." He pointed to Kurt's chest, "doesn't it mess with your singing a bit?"

"I don't really sing anymore." Kurt said, taking one last drag of his cigarette and crushing it underfoot.

"Why not?" Blaine couldn't keep the shock out of his voice, as they entered the starbucks and queued up for drinks.

"I don't think anyone wants to hear me anymore." He smiled, his voice so soft it was almost silent. "Besides Jake doesn't really like music."

Blaine looked like he wanted to say something, several things in fact; his thick eyebrows were knitted together and seemed to be giving off a concerned vibe, but his lips stayed together until they had ordered their drinks and taken a couple of comfy seats by the window. Kurt looked slightly anxious, chewing on his chapped lips again, but he said nothing, a hand gripped around his medium drip.

Despite the awkward start the two began chatting easily, and before they knew it it was like they were back in the lima bean, back in high school in dalton uniforms. Kurt remembered why Blaine had been his best friend, remembered how interesting, kind and funny he was.

Blaine had just finished telling Kurt about his session work. "I mean it's not forever, but hey I meet great people and it pays the bills right!"

"No, it sounds fascinating." Kurt replied, smiling wistfully.

"So what are you doing at the moment?" Blaine asked, draining the last of his cup of coffee.

"Nothing. I'm trying to find a job but I'm struggling. I mean I studied music at college, I'm not exactly hot property for a proper job." He smiled sadly, "so Jake pays for everything right now, which I hate. I..." Kurt stopped. "I feel so unconfident at the moment."

"What about music? You love it, Kurt." Blaine said gently, leaning towards his friend.

"Loved. That's not a part of my life anymore, Blaine." Kurt replied, slightly sharply, and he gazed out of the window. It was true, it wasn't a part of his life anymore. It wasn't what Jake wanted for him, and that was that. Did he miss it? Every single day, but he wasn't about to let Blaine, or anyone know that. He'd made his bed, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to make the best of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you thank you thank you :) reviews/alerts/favourites have all been lovely. Sorry if this is a bit ansgty-Kurt-inner-monologue-ish, but I kind of wanted to delve a bit into why he's unhappy. So here we go. Then our favourite Noah Puckerman makes a (sort of) appearance at the end. **

**I'm posting this now because I'm so excited for Original Songs I'm writing like it's going out of fashion. You'll probably get a chapter a day after Tuesday – 4 week hiatus agh! Excited for regionals though! :)**

**I don't own Glee. **

_2 weeks later_

**Kurt**

Kurt walked into the apartment from yet another job interview, as repetitive and hopeless as the last one he'd had. It was hard to give across any enthusiasm when working in a bank had never been something he particularly wanted to do, and so far none of his interviews had been successful. He suspected this one would be no different.

It wasn't just his total lack of enthusiasm; he hadn't exactly been enthusiastic about working part time as a bus boy in his first year at college, but his living costs wouldn't pay for themselves and his dad was already paying for his college education, that already felt too generous without sponging more money off him and Carole. But he had got that job and worked it all year.

No, it was his total lack of confidence since he'd been here. Kurt knew he should be in his element; after all he was living in the city he'd always dreamed of, away from Lima, with a boyfriend. Sometimes in high school when things had felt particularly bleak he never thought he'd have either of these things. And now he had both, so why didn't he feel better about it, why did he feel like nothing?

Leaving the apartment was becoming more and more of a difficulty for Kurt, thrown into any social situation of late sent him into a tailspin, his heart would start beating faster and he'd give anything to be in his apartment alone. He didn't want to think about the reasons for that; it was because he was useless and weak and jobless, anyone would struggle to feel confident, surely?

Jake.

Kurt didn't want to think about how much Jake's violence had increased in the past couple of weeks. He probably deserved it anyway, Jake worked all day and Kurt was failing at job interview after job interview; Kurt decided he should count himself lucky he still had a boyfriend. Jake was right about one thing; nobody else would want him.

He couldn't seem to grasp the person he was anymore. If someone had asked him who he was in high school, he could tell them in a heart beat. But now? Now he felt like a sad, lonely ghost of a person, wandering around with no personality, looks, job or prospects. All he had to anchor him down to this city was Jake, and he wouldn't lose him over a few stupid fights.

Kurt eased his coat off and winced as he jarred his plastered wrist, plastered because it had been broken in two places where Jake had slammed it against the wall in a fury when he found the texts from Blaine on Kurt's mobile. How could he have been so stupid? He berated himself as pain shot up his bent wrist on not deleting the texts as soon as he'd received them.

Jake had stormed out, and several hours later had come home with flowers and apologies, almost crying, and Kurt had forgiven him in a heartbeat, because of course he didn't mean it, and he'd always had weak bones anyway; he'd broken almost every bone in his body at some point as a child. Jake had taken him to the hospital, and Kurt had felt nothing...numb as a nurse plastered his arm and Jake chatted to her easily. Although that could have been the strength of the painkillers he'd been prescribed.

Kurt had received several texts from Blaine since the night he'd broken his wrist, but he'd deleted them hastily, barely reading them. He didn't relish the idea of being on crutches next week.

Once he'd hung his coat up, he wandered through the apartment to grab a drink out of the fridge, and when he'd done so he sat down on the sofa, thoughts racing through his twisted head as they so often did. _There must be something fundamentally wrong with me _he thought, _Jake doesn't hit me for no reason. He does it when he thinks I deserve it. _And Jake wasn't violent all the time. There were times when he could be so sweet, so tender towards Kurt. Nine times out of ten when he'd hit him he'd curl up beside him and stroke the bruised areas and sometimes he'd even cry, and Kurt couldn't bear that, had never been able to cope with it.

"I'm sorry," Jake would sob, "I'm bad." And Kurt would curl into him and tell him that no, he wasn't bad, it was ok, and just for that time, the time they were curled together, the relationship would feel completely worthwhile. Kurt couldn't let go of those rare moments where he actually felt like he was worth something.

When he got a job it would be better, he decided, as the phone rang and he reached out to it, determined to be positive, when I get a job and find myself again everything will be ok.

"Hello?"

"Hummel!" Kurt smiled, he knew that voice anywhere and there were only two people that called him Hummel, and the other was a Latina girl.

"Noah." Kurt replied, settling back into the sofa and winding the telephone cord around his fingers. "Long time no speak!" Noah Puckerman and Kurt's relationship had jumped from pillar to post during high school; it had begun with Puck bullying and taunting Kurt and had eventually, after glee and the whole dalton acadamy bit had resulted in a strong friendship, and neither boy was sure who was helped more by the friendship.

When they'd both gone to college they'd kept in touch regularly, but Noah was one of the many, many people who Kurt hadn't been able to keep in touch with as he'd have liked since living in New York. Part of it was distance, of course; only a couple of his friends were in New York, and even then bumping into them wasn't exactly a likelihood. But most of it was that Jake was very territorial about Kurt, and never really showed any interest in his old friends, other than a strange jealousy at all the boys, particularly Puck.

"It has been too long my boy. How's it all going?" Kurt could hear the smile on Noah's voice, and it made him remember just how much he missed his friend.

"Could be better, I'm job hunting and it's going very badly." Kurt replied, "how about you? As if I need to ask." There was a smirk in his tone. Noah wasn't exactly **famous **famous but his name was getting pretty well known in the music world and Kurt had no doubt his friend would be huge, with his soulful voice yet badass attitude and flawless guitar playing.

"Life's sweet if I'm honest." Noah replied, "might have a few really exciting things coming up.."

"Tell all!" Kurt replied, smiling properly for the first time in two weeks.

"Oh Hummel I wish I could but it's all very top secret." Noah was sending himself up, but Kurt could see he wasn't going to budge and moved on.

"And the love life?"

"Surprisingly dry." Noah replied, his tone falling for the first time since they'd started talking.

"Have you spoken to-" Kurt started to say but Noah interrupted him.

"I know what you're going to say, and no. I haven't." Kurt smiled slightly sadly.

"Last time Rachel rung me she told me Quinn was single now."

"And yet she hasn't called me. It's over, Hummel. She doesn't want me." Noah sighed, before brightening his tone again. "Enough about that crap, how's Jake?"

"You know about him? Have I ever mentioned him to you Puckerman?" Kurt asked with a wry smile, already knowing who would have filled Noah in.

"Rachel Berry still has a big ass mouth, Hummel. Some things never change. Have you spoken to her recently?"

"No. Our last phone call was months ago." Kurt said, his tone tinged with regret. He never thought he'd see the day he missed Berry, but that day had come many, many times since they'd all gone their separate ways.

"Well I saw her the other day; I was actually in New York meeting up with some music biz friends. I called you, but since you didn't reply I couldn't see you." Noah was indignant.

"I'm sorry." Kurt replied, placing the day Noah called and remembering ignoring it because Jake wasn't in the happiest of moods that day and he was sure Kurt sneaking off to talk to Puck wouldn't exactly help his case. "Things have been a little hectic."

"Sure I understand man. But I met up for lunch with Rachel, she's definitely just as much of a loud mouth as ever before."

"And the career?" Kurt spat the words out, but jealousy stirred in his stomach unpleasantly.

"Going fantastically, I'm sure you've read about her, going leaps and bounds in the musical world I hear, though that's not my area." Noah replied, not missing the notes of sadness and regret in Kurt's voice. "Man have you thought about trying to get back into music?"

"Absolutely not."

"Phew." Puck replied, "never thought this was how it would be, Hummel."

"Noah, can we not?" Kurt begged, his voice cracking. It was bad enough to give up these things he'd thought were his dreams, first with Blaine telling him to go back to them, and now Noah was only making his decision more heartbreaking.

"That's totally fine dude."

"Still don't call me dude Noah." Kurt replied, smirking once more, and Puck actually laughed out loud.

"Oh, Hummel. Anyway as it happens I've gotta run, people to meet, places to be. The reason I called, other than to talk to my best friend who seems to have forgotten me, was to tell you that we're having a McKinley glee reunion bash. Don't tell me the name is totally lame, I know."

"That name has to be a Rachel Barbra Berry creation." Kurt said, and Puck laughed.

"You got it. It's on the eight of next month, not sure of the place yet, all I know is you have to come. No excuses this time?"

"I'll be there." Kurt replied firmly, hoping very much he would be able to swing it so he could be there.

"Fantastic, don't bail on us Hummel, or I'll come and drag your gay ass over myself." Noah laughed.

"Alright, I get the message!" Kurt said, mock anger in his tone, "now get lost, I can tell you're busy."

"I'll let you know when we've got a location for the big show." Noah replied, "keep cool Hummel."

"Bye Noah." Kurt replied, replacing the phone gently onto its cradle and sitting back on the sofa. He realised just how much he missed his friends, the people who'd been his support system through the hardest years of his life. He made a decision there and then; he'd be at that reunion if it killed him.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so sorry it's been a week since I updated! So basically I wasn't able to form coherent sentences for about three days after Original Songs! Djisadsiodsoasjdsj everything I wrote looked like that! How great was it? :) **

**Also I got really ill on Thursday and I'm still kind of ill today but have been able to open word without feeling sick for the first time, so I bashed this chapter out :D I'm sorry if it sucks/is boring but I've managed to get it written, which is a miracle, haha. **

**Enjoy/review xx**

**Blaine**

It had been two weeks since Blaine had met up with Kurt in Starbucks. Two weeks and three days, and with everyday that passed Blaine's chest tightened further and further as he felt himself be pushed away by Kurt _yet again. _

Surely no one should have to go through this heartbreak twice with the same guy? Blaine had sent several messages since they'd met up, saying how nice it was to catch up, how glad he was that Kurt was back in his life. Blaine felt himself blush fiercely to the roots of his hair, embarrassed that, once again he'd laid his feelings out bare for Kurt to see, and had, in a way been rejected yet again.

Because Kurt wouldn't answer any of his messages. When he called he would answer and hang up, or just reject the call.

He had thought their meet up had gone well; Kurt had admittedly seemed distracted, and if Blaine was totally honest, not particularly happy. But Blaine had put that down to starting a new life in an unlikely place. But once they had started talking it was like nothing had changed.

And nothing had changed! Blaine berated himself angrily. He didn't want you then and he doesn't want you now.

But what if it was more? Blaine knew Kurt didn't have feelings for him, any more than he had done in high school, and that was something he knew he had to accept; he couldn't keep letting these feelings for Kurt rule his life. Sure, Blaine had had other relationships but he couldn't help but compare every man he ever met to Kurt. And every time they fell short. The truth was there was no one like Kurt, and Blaine was tying himself up in thoroughly miserable knots over someone who probably barely thought of him as a friend anymore, let alone a romantic interest.

So, those feelings had to be pushed aside, as hard as Blaine knew (from experience) it would be. But what if there was more? These thoughts had been twisting round Blaine's head for several days and for the first time he let himself think them. Kurt had no reason to reject every call from Blaine, ignore every text. They'd had a good time when they met up, neither had offended or upset each other, so why was Kurt avoiding him like the bubonic plague?

Blaine had a horrible thought, one that had been bubbling under the surface of his mind for several days now. What if someone was making Kurt ignore him? Half of Blaine thought this was a ridiculous, vain notion. He was nothing special, maybe Kurt was just busy and had more in his life than Blaine, maybe he didn't want to go back to the past. But then the other half of Blaine had an uneasy feeling that settled at the bottom of his stomach and wouldn't shift. He just had this unpleasant, constant worry that someone was hurting Kurt.

That someone being Jake.

But what if he was wrong? What if he went storming in like some short, curly haired, ridiculous, clumsy version of a knight in shining armour to try and save Kurt and nothing was going on? Or what if something was going on and he made it worse? But could he live with himself if, say, something were going on and he had ignored it, and Kurt got badly hurt?

Blaine knew his thought processes sounded loopy; they'd been going round his head on constant repeat the last few days and he was sick of it.

He pulled on his coat and scarf, suddenly, sick of thinking, bored of going over and over the same things in his head. He walked briskly down the road, pulling his coat closer in to his body as the icy wind whipped at him.

Soon enough, he arrived at Kurt's apartment, and he swallowed, annoyed to see his hand was shaking slightly. He pressed the button for what he knew was Kurt's apartment number (he'd looked his and Jake's address up in the book, was that creepy?)

"Come in." The door buzzed open and Blaine headed up the stairs, relief seeping through his veins at Kurt answering rather than Jake. He walked up and saw the door open ajar, so he pushed it gently.

"Hello?" Blaine called softly, his voice soft and hesitant.

Kurt walked through to the room and his eyes widened, his face pale, his hands began to shake where they hung uselessly at his sides. His mouth was slightly open, and he stayed that way for a few seconds, before he marched over to Blaine.

"Are you insane?" Kurt snapped, pushing Blaine up against the wall violently. Despite Kurt being a good few inches taller than him, the action barely touched him, as if Kurt had little or no energy for the conflict.

"What?" Blaine held his hands up slightly, an automatic response, his palms facing Kurt, and they were shaking. He wasn't afraid of Kurt, he was worried for him, but he saw the boy see Blaine's concerned, flickering expression and his shaking hands and he pulled back, his gaze trained on the floor.

"I'm –I'm sorry." Kurt replied after a short, awkward silence. "But you can't be here, Blaine." Kurt's voice wasn't a snap anymore, it was soft, pleading.

"I don't understand...You don't answer my texts or calls, and I thought you enjoyed catching up as much as I did. I'm just..." Blaine lost the last few words, they caught in his throat. He swallowed and tried again. "I'm worried about you." Kurt flinched.

It looked like there a million thoughts going through Kurt's head. "Blaine, you always understood me and my needs better than anyone. You always trusted me. I need you to trust me now. And right now my needs are that you leave, and please, please don't come here without telling me again." His voice still had the pleading tone to it, that sounded so unlike Kurt.

"But why do I need to leave?" Blaine asked, desperately. _Tell me. _

"Jake." Kurt replied, his voice taking on a stammer for the first time since Blaine had arrived, and Blaine felt a boiling, _hating _sensation towards the person who was making Kurt so unhappy, so unsure of himself. "Jake is...over protective."

"Kurt, I need to ask you a question. Does he hurt you?" Blaine asked, his hand gripping the edge of his coat so hard he was losing the feeling in his fingers.

The boy skipped a beat and flinched. "Jake would never hurt me." He replied, forcing a smile on to his face. "So, please Blaine. Please leave me alone."

"I'm not leaving here until you agree to hang out again. I miss you, Kurt I miss our friendship." Kurt looked desperately at the door, and Blaine felt bad for inflicting so much worry on his friend, but he couldn't let this contact slip through his fingers again.

"Ok, fine. Next Saturday. Come over late morning. Now get out of here, Anderson." Blaine couldn't help but smile as he heard the words come out of Kurt's mouth, the first ones to sound like him since Blaine had walked into the apartment. Blaine nodded and grinned.

"I got you, Kurt. See you later." Blaine replied, and he headed down the stairs and out of the door, not totally happy with what he had heard, but pleased at least that he'd be able to see Kurt.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 :) Thanks for the alerts and the reviews, it's great!**

**This one was hard to write, I felt so sorry for Kurt throughout, but it had to be done and it's going to get worse I'm afraid. Poor boy. **

**Kurt**

The week has passed in a weird flurry for Kurt. First there was Blaine's heart attack inducing idea of 'stopping by' which he couldn't help but find sort of endearing. He'd agreed to meet up with him again on Saturday, which he was mildly excited about. Blaine was right; he had missed him. But things were complicated, and seeing Blaine definitely wasn't the easiest thing to do, especially now he had all these other things to hide from Jake, one of which was on his iphone he stared at now.

**Hummel! She's gonna call u later, jst a heads up, but Rachel's reunion is def on the 8th of next month, at her apartment (it's huge). Anyway everyone's game&u'd better be 2. x **

Puck. Kurt sighed quietly and deleted the message quickly before placing his phone on the table. The eighth of next month. That wasn't long, and he knew telling Jake about it wasn't going to be an option. Several tries at getting Jake interested in his high school friends had proved useless, Jake either got angry at Kurt for talking about the guys, or just completely uninterested about the girls. If he told him and Jake got annoyed, sneaking away would be so much harder. Surely he could fabricate a job interview, or a visit to Burt and Carole.

This morning he'd got a call telling him he'd got to the second stage of the job interview he went to for the bank. He supposed he should feel relieved that somewhere was finally taking something of an interest in him, but he couldn't muster the energy.

And now? Now it was Friday and his 'meet up' with Blaine was looming...Suddenly his phone chimed again and he picked it up. It was Jake.

**Hey babe guess what? They've given me tomorrow off work! So we can hang out all day :) be home soon x x**

Kurt rubbed his face over with his hand tiredly. His complicated week had just tripled, and he knew there was no contest at who he was letting down. Kurt imagined telling Jake he couldn't hang out because he was seeing Blaine. The scene he imagined was almost funny. Almost.

He quickly wrote a text to Blaine, sent it and then deleted it, agitatedly checking for a reply every five seconds. He heard the apartment door open and shoved his phone in his pocket, smiling as Jake walked in. Jake had a smile on his face, and Kurt felt himself release a breath he didn't even realise he was holding.

"Hey!" Kurt smiled, walking over to his boyfriend and giving him a kiss. Jake kissed him back and then went to hang up his coat. He was still smiling but the chill had returned to his eyes. Kurt swallowed.

"I'll make some dinner." He said eventually, "unless you want to go out?"

"No. I'm tired." Jake replied, settling himself down on the sofa. They chatted easily enough as Kurt brought Jake a beer and made the dinner, and then they sat down to eat.

"So, Kurt." Jake suddenly said, looking up from his plate. "You've got that look on your face." His voice was calm, so Kurt barely moved.

"I have?" He replied. "What is it?"

"That face that says you're fucking keeping something from me." Kurt looked up suddenly, alarmed by the anger in the sentence.

"I'm not keeping anything from you, Jake." Kurt replied, keeping his chin stubbornly high, and trying, desperately to channel the brave Kurt Hummel he knew was still somewhere inside of him.

"I'll give you five seconds to tell me, Kurt. We can do this the hard way or the easy way, you know that." Jake's eyes were iced over yet again, and Kurt closed his eyes. "5...4...3...2...ONE."

Kurt's eyes were closed so all he heard was the smash as Jake over threw the table they were sitting at. He opened his eyes in horror to see the shattered pieces of plate and remnants of dinner on the apartment floor.

"What aren't you telling me?" Jake stood up and walked over to Kurt, who sat paralysed with fear still in his chair.

"Nothing! There's nothing!" Kurt's phone chose to beep at that moment in his pocket, and he internally kicked himself for forgetting to turn it on to silent.

"I wonder if this will tell me." Jake replied, and he snaked his hand into Kurt's trouser pocket and retrieved the phone. He looked at the text, breathing heavily through his nose. Then he thrust the phone into Kurt's face. "What the fuck is this?"

**Aww that's a shame! I was looking forward to it! When are you free then? Xx **

When Kurt didn't answer, Jake continued speaking. "Blaine." He read out the message again in a mocking tone. "So I'm guessing you were planning a little afternoon delight tomorrow with _Blaine, _until you found out I'd be around, then it was a case of abort mission, wasn't it?"

"We're just friends." Kurt replied desperately, "I PROMISE, Jake!"

"Then why didn't you tell me about this? If it's so innocent?" Jake spat, bending so close over Kurt their noses nearly touched.

"Because I knew you'd react like this!" Kurt shouted back, and Jake recoiled. He threw the phone down onto the carpet, paused for a split second and then grabbed Kurt by the neck and threw him against the wall. He kept both hands on his neck and squeezed harder and harder.

Kurt fought back, but Jake's hands were strong, and no air was being let down his throat at all. Just as his vision began to waver at the edges, Jake removed his hands. Kurt coughed and spluttered, clutching his sore neck.

He thought Jake might leave him after that, but the man smiled down at Kurt.

"You know what this is called Kurt?" He asked, to which Kurt didn't reply. He then punched Kurt in the stomach once, twice, three times, before throwing him into the mess of dinner on the floor.

"It's called teaching you a lesson. One I hope you won't forget. I'm going out, don't wait up. Go and see Blaine if you need partially satisfying tonight, Kurt." Jake then actually spat on the curled up body of his boyfriend and slammed the door so the whole apartment rattled.

For a long, long time, Kurt didn't move. He lay on the ground, surrounded by pieces of food and shards of dinner plate, unsure of whether to clutch his agonized stomach or his agonized throat,tears dripping down his face, whimpering softly the names of all the people he wanted to be there right now.

"Mom, Dad, Carole, Finn, Noah, Tina, Mercedes, Brittany, Rachel...Blaine." But these people weren't here, one of them would never be there for him again, and the rest? They were all off living their lives happily, thinking he was doing the same.

Kurt loved Jake so much, so why did he keep insisting on doing this to him? Maybe he was doing something wrong with Blaine, but even Kurt wasn't that weak. Nothing had gone on with Blaine, and it never would. He would never cheat on anyone, it wasn't the way he was built. However, he'd give anything to have Blaine here right now. Blaine had been the first person to really _care _about how badly he was being bullied, the person who drove all the way to his school just to confront his bully. Though he'd never admit it he needed Blaine right now more than he'd ever needed anyone.

Eventually, he pulled himself up, wincing as he did so. He pulled up his shirt and wasn't at all surprised to see his stomach was already patterned with bruising. A glance in the mirror confirmed his throat was also purpling nicely, which was fantastic. At least he looked great in scarves, he thought wryly, because he'd be wearing one for the next week.

His hands shook as he begun to clear up the mess of what had been their meal, more tears slip sliding their way down his pale face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello :) Once again thank you for all alerts, favourites and reviews. Not happy with this chapter, it doesn't seem to go anywhere, but I have got plans for what's coming up, so don't worry. **

**I still don't own Glee. **

**Blaine**

Blaine had had enough of the silent treatment: part 2. Since being blown off by Kurt on Saturday, he'd been ignoring him, AGAIN. Now it was the following Friday, and Blaine picked up his phone to ring Kurt.

"Blaine, what do you want?" His voice sounded different, somehow even more down beaten and depressed than before, and Blaine literally wanted to cry at how defeated his friend sounded.

"To see you. Tomorrow. To make up for missing last week." Blaine replied, and he heard a short intake of breath, followed by a silence. It was a silence filled with things Blaine couldn't hear, but could feel. "Look, Kurt. If you're free, if Jake's not around, please. Just, please. Don't decide now, but if you want to, come over to my apartment any time tomorrow."

"I'll think about it." Kurt replied shortly, saying bye and hanging up the phone. Blaine put his phone down and sighed, wondering how on earth he was going to get through to his friend who seemed to be putting up an even higher invisible wall between them every time they spoke.

He supposed, he thought, as he turned back to his keyboard and carried on with the song he'd been writing, he'd just have to hope that Kurt would show up and they'd finally be able to talk.

The next day it was mid morning, and Blaine was dressed in a dark coloured sweater and dark jeans, finishing a bowl of cereal at the table in the tiny kitchen of his apartment. The door buzzed and he dropped the bowl in the sink, his heart rising in his chest. _Don't get excited, Blaine, it could be anyone. _

"Hello?" He said through the speaker.

"It's Kurt." Blaine buzzed the door open and pulled his front door open too, waiting for the boy to climb the stairs. It took a little while, and Blaine was about to start down the stairs to look for his friend when he saw Kurt.

And something was desperately wrong.

Kurt was wrapped up in a coat and scarf, normal for this time of year. But he looked like every step pained him, and one arm was carefully curled around his stomach. It was like he wasn't aware it was there, like an automatic reaction to something.

His face was the same, pale and worried, but with a small shy smile painted across his lips. Blaine wanted to pull his friend in for a hug, but, unsure of whether that was acceptable for the two of them, he made do with shaking Kurt's hand.

"Hi." Kurt said softly, and Blaine winced at the one syllable, how one word can possibly express how broken someone is inside.

"Hey," Blaine replied, as he shut the door of the apartment. Kurt pulled his coat off, and Blaine took it from him and hung it over a chair. He went to take Kurt's scarf, but the boy's fingers were gripping it fiercely, so he offered Kurt a drink, which he took, and they sat down at the table. "I'm glad you came." Blaine said eventually, because the silence was eating away at him.

Kurt didn't even bother to fake a smile this time, and Blaine decided to cut the crap, and the small talk.

"Kurt, what's the matter?" He asked gently. Kurt looked up, and it was almost as if those four words were breaking through a shell, like he hadn't been asked in so long...and had forgotten how to answer.

"I'm..." He stammered.

"And if you say I'm fine, I won't be responsible for my actions." Blaine warned, his hand outstretched on the table, aching to reach out to Kurt, to touch him in any way, to make him feel like he was less...alone.

Kurt looked as if his mind was going into overdrive with all the things he was worrying about, but his lips remained stubbornly together.

"I'll be ok. I've handled worse." Kurt said eventually. It wasn't the answer Blaine wanted to hear, it only reinforced that something bad was going on, something Kurt couldn't control. "Can I use the bathroom?" Kurt asked suddenly, and Blaine nodded and showed him the direction. He watched Kurt shuffle away, looking like an old, tired man, his arm still protectively clasped over his stomach.

When he returned, Blaine stood up, and held Kurt by the arm.

"Are you hurt?" He asked the boy, not removing his hand from his arm. He looked up at Kurt and saw his eyes were filled with tears.

"No, no I'm fine, everything's fine." He whispered, but more tears began to spill over his eyelids and down his cheeks.

"Tell me the truth." Blaine whispered. "I'll make it better, I'll make it stop hurting, I promise." Kurt looked exhausted, as if he couldn't be bothered to fight with Blaine anymore, as if he just wanted someone, anyone to make him feel better. He removed his arm from his stomach and pulled his shirt up.

Blaine sucked in a breath and closed his eyes for a second, swallowing back the rage. Kurt's stomach was bruised, badly bruised. The bruises looked a good few days old, and _so _sore in varying degrees of brown, purple and yellow over his stomach, reaching down to where his jeans began. His stomach flickered, and Kurt flinched as Blaine ran a gentle hand over the bruises. He rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair, trying to get a handle on himself.

_I know you're angry, Blaine, but going all psycho isn't going to help right now. _He took a deep breath and smiled gently at Kurt.

"Stay there, don't move. I'm pretty sure I've got some bruise cream in the cupboard that will fix that up for now." Kurt nodded listlessly, and Blaine returned minutes later with the cream. "This might hurt a little bit, tell me if you can't bear it ok?" He began to rub the cream as gently as he could over Kurt's stomach, amazed that the boy only winced a few times. _He's had worse, _Blaine thought darkly, rubbing rhythmically and trying not to get worked up again.

After he'd rubbed it in, Blaine stood up, and looked to Kurt, who was now tugging nervously at the scarf. Blaine shut his eyes. _He isn't serious. _He gently lifted Kurt's fingers from the edges of the scarf and unwound it quickly from round his neck. He couldn't hide the gasp this time, and Kurt looked down at the floor, his eyes flashing with pain and shame. Blaine softly and slowly rubbed cream onto Kurt's bruised, sore neck, and when he had done so, Kurt flopped back down at the table. Blaine sat back down beside him, though every urge in his body was telling him movement: Get up, run as fast as you can to wherever that animal is that's been hurting Kurt, and destroy him.

"It's Jake isn't it." Blaine said, and Kurt didn't have to nod for him to know that he was right. A tear drop plopped onto the table from where Kurt's head was bent towards it, and Blaine picked up his friend's hand.

"You don't have to put up with this, you know." He told Kurt gently, keeping his hand curled over his friend's.

"I do." Kurt replied, his face now dry, and twisted with anguish. "I do. Because no one else would ever want me, no one else would look after me. I have nothing without him, no job, no future. I have nothing without Jake. Is it a surprise he gets mad when I see other guys, or keep things from him?"

"Are you crazy, Kurt? He's just MADE you think this. You could have any guy you like at the drop of a hat, and of course you have a future. Kurt, you can't let this guy make you feel like you're nothing when you aren't. You're something special, and you always have been. Why are you putting up with this?" Blaine asked desperately.

At this, Kurt snatched his hand away. "Because this is all I've ever known, Blaine! I spent the whole of high school being abused, but I got through it because I told myself there was something better over the hill. But I was kidding myself. It turns out all there is over the hill is more shit! At least now I'm not being gay bashed! And Jake loves me, he does..."

"This isn't love, Kurt!" Blaine ran a gentle hand over Kurt's neck, and he flinched.

"You don't understand it! And that's fine. I don't expect you too. And I don't need you to save me. I know what I'm doing, I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions!" Kurt snapped, standing up.

Blaine stood up too, anger rising in his chest. "I don't think you are. You don't have any idea of just how good your life could be, do you?"

"I know how much worse it could be." Kurt replied. He picked up his coat. "I'd like to carry on seeing you. You're my friend. But you tell anyone about this, if you try and sort out MY problems for me, I'll never speak to you again." He flashed Blaine a look that could kill lesser men, and walked out of the door.

Blaine sat down again, running a hand through his hopeless hair and wondered when life got this shitty and complicated again?


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh god! I'm so so sorry it's been about a million days since I updated! Had loads of deadlines at uni, then my laptop charger selfishly broke, which meant I had no laptop for a week. Finally an update. This is mainly to soothe the New Directions section of my heart. They all appear here. And happy Kurt. No mean Jake, but no Blaine either. They'll both be back though, and some stormy weather. /Rambling again in my authors note. I hope there are still people interested in this. :) **

**Still don't own Glee...gutted. **

**Kurt**

"Kurt!" Kurt had barely walked into the huge, flashy apartment before being pounced on by an extremely over excited black girl dressed in neon pink and purple. He hugged Mercedes back tightly, his heart already rising at being in this room full of people who loved him, and who he loved in return.

When he finally disengaged himself from Mercedes bear hug (it was a good job his ribs had for the most part finally stopped aching) he was pulled into several other excited girls arms, first Tina, who still after all these years wore the exact same perfume she had in high school. He sniffed it as he buried his face in her long silky dark hair, and smiled as he was passed into the arms of Brittany.

"Your hands are still so soft." She whispered into his ear as she grabbed them when they'd finished hugging, and he smiled.

"Hummel." Santana didn't hug him, but she patted his arm and her lips twisted into the smile he recognised of the girl; she was happy. And he knew why, from the way that as soon as Brittany let go of Kurt's hand, Santana held onto the blonde's hand hard.

Then there was Quinn, surprisingly happy to see Kurt. "It's been too long." She smiled, pulling him into her faded denim jacket, releasing him as Rachel, who had answered the door, yanked him into yet another hug.

"I missed you. Don't ever run out of my life again without calling me!" She said, mock anger in her voice as she left one arm slung around his shoulders.

"I won't. I missed you too, as impossible as that sounds considering we'll probably be arguing in two minutes." Kurt smirked, feeling a warmth spread through him as he untangled himself from Rachel and walked towards the males of his group, who were crowding over to see him.

"Hummel! You showed!" Noah scooped his friend up in a hug, and Kurt sighed happily.

"I told you I would. You have NO faith in me, Noah." Kurt replied, "now get off me you great lump!"

Meanwhile, Artie wheeled himself up to Kurt, grinning, and Kurt glanced at him, and then at Tina. Artie saw where Kurt's eyes were trained, and nodded ever so slightly, and Kurt couldn't help but smile. It seemed like everything was falling into place for his friends.

Almost everything, he corrected himself, as he saw Puck throwing occasional longing looks over at Quinn, perched on the arm of the sofa chatting to Rachel.

Kurt went and said hi to Mike and Sam, who both greeted him extremely warmly as well, before turning to face his last friend, and the one he saw the most out of all of them, probably for practical reasons, but also because he could never imagine his life without him.

"Finn Hudson." He smiled cheekily, as he headed up to his step brother and gave him a hug. "I know it's only been a few weeks since I've seen you, but that still feels like too long."

"I know right, we should make more of a concerted effort to match our visits to the parents in future." Finn smiled, patting Kurt on the back and handing the boy a drink from the table. Kurt took it and sat down amongst his friends.

The day was spent catching up; it had been a really, really long time since they'd all been together. Rachel had, apparently even tried to get Schuester over, but he was off on a romantic weekend away with Emma Pillsbury. Yet another couple who were meant to be and had effortlessly fallen into place over the past few years.

Kurt tried not to feel sour jealousy as he looked at the various couples around the room. Ok, so Quinn and Puck weren't exactly happy; everyone had always secretly thought the two would end up together, but everyone else seemed so relaxed and together.

Kurt looked at Tina and Artie, their hands entwined almost all the time, Rachel and Finn (you didn't think either of them would really be with anyone else for the long run did you?) seemed happy together, they still fought like cat and dog...anyone who spent large amounts of time around Rachel would end up wanting to kill her sometimes...but they seemed happy.

Then there was Sam, who was telling Kurt at this very moment about his current girlfriend, a girl he'd met at work.

And of course there was Santana and Brittany. Kurt had always known that was coming, but he knew Santana for the most part had a lot of growing up to do before she could commit to someone she loved.

It was their relationship that tugged at Kurt's heartstrings the most, perhaps because of their sexual orientation; giving him the belief that two people of the same sex could love each other forever.

What was he thinking? He loved Jake. It was just complicated. But why, then did he look at his best friend's relationships with jealousy?

But then again, it was probably a problem with him; he was fucked up. Because even the single members of their group seemed happy; Mike was working as a backing dancer for shows and performers, and he was working his way up dancing for more and more famous people, he seemed totally content. Then there was Puck; although it was clear he missed Quinn more than he'd ever dream of letting on, his career was fulfilling him totally, and for now that was definitely enough for him.

And Mercedes. Mercedes; the strongest person he knew, a girl climbing the theatre ladder in a similar way to Rachel, a person who was always happy on her own, knowing that when she found someone, that would be it, it was meant to be. Until then she'd be happy on her own, with her career and her friends.

Later on that day, when the group had dispersed in to mini groups to chat, Kurt found himself sat on the sofa with Puck and Finn.

"I love us all being together again, we really need to do it more often." Kurt smiled, loving the feeling of being with Puck and Finn, the two had always been protective of him, except for the first terrible years of high school. After glee started, and especially after he returned from Dalton, the two made sure no one ever bullied him again. He pretended it annoyed him, but he adored it, finally having people on his side who cared. And it was a reflex for them now, to look after him.

He wondered what they'd think if they knew how Jake sometimes flipped and hit him. He shook his head. He hoped they'd never find out; being on trial for murder would really bring down Noah's career, Kurt thought wryly.

"So how are things, Kurt? How's the job search?" Finn asked.

"Worse than awful." Kurt replied, "I got to the second stage for this bank job, but it turned out to be another dud. No one wants to hire me, it's sad."

"Kurt," Puck began, "you know that news I couldn't tell you...well I'm still not supposed to, but I've pretty much been signed...by a much bigger label. Hopefully things are going to take off."

"Noah, that's fantasic." Kurt smiled, leaning over to hug his friend lightly.

"What I mean is, if you were ever to still be interested in music, I might be able to get you some ins, nothing big but better than nothing." His voice was gentle, and Kurt stiffened, seeing where he was going with this.

"I thought I made it clear. Music is not a part of my life any more!" It was frustrating, beyond frustrating that people kept bringing this up! 

"I know you keep saying. But Kurt you're one of the most talented people I've met, and I meet a lot of musical people these days. You're wasting all that because for whatever reason you've become scared, scared to step outside your comfort zone. I'm not going to push why, but I'm not going to listen to your bullshit anymore! We may not see each other much any more but you are still my best friend and I won't listen to you say you don't miss music when I can tell you do! Every day!" Puck said all this, his hand gently on Kurt's arm.

Kurt was torn. It all sounded so tempting. He ached to sing. But Jake...

"The truth is," Kurt began, "Jake, my boyfriend...I don't think he'd be happy with me doing music. It's not something he enjoys. And he's a huge part of my life now."

"Are you happy with him Kurt?" Finn asked suddenly. "I mean you've never brought him home to meet Mom and Burt, I've never met him. He's like a secret."

"We're just busy, Finn. And yes, to answer your inappropriate question I AM happy with him. I wouldn't be with him other wise." Kurt snapped.

"We all just think you've changed a lot since you graduated." Puck murmured.

"So you've all been discussing me, that's nice." Kurt snapped again, folding his arms across his chest.

"We just love you." Finn said, running a hand through his messy black hair.

"I know." Kurt sighed, not wanting to fight with his friends when he so rarely saw them. "So tell me more about this record label Noah!"

Presently the day ended and everyone, especially those who lived further, had to think about leaving, be it for a hotel, train, car or plane ride.

It sucked, if Kurt was honest, saying goodbye to all his friends. Because they were all together it kind of felt like saying goodbye after high school, after their last glee rehearsal. Kurt had a brief flashback to it and smiled sadly. To this day he's never cried that much! 

So yeah, saying goodbye was emotional.

"Guys! You'll set me off!" Rachel rubbed her eyes.

"We'll do this a lot sooner than last time, don't worry!" Quinn smiled, hugging Rachel as she picked up her bag.

"Definitely." Kurt replied wistfully, not looking forward to going home. Because going home meant going back to Jake, who he had told he was going to see Burt and Carole. That meant lying, and Kurt hated lying, because almost every time he lied to Jake they ended up in a fight. He also didn't want this day with his friends to end.

"Call me if you change your mind." Puck whispered as he hugged Kurt goodbye.

"Thank you Noah. I do appreciate it." Kurt replied, pulling his jacket on and heading out of Rachel's apartment and back to his life.

And it didn't make him happy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry about the long wait between updates again, you know how uni is etc...**

**Sorry about the cliffhanger but I have more written so the wait won't be long. **

**P.S. How amazing was born this way?**

**Glee is not mine. **

**Kurt**

Kurt had managed to escape past Jake with minor discussion over the day with his friends. Jake had spent a day with his own friends and was both tired and distracted. A few days had gone by and Jake had been in a surprisingly good mood, which was making Kurt feel a lot more relaxed. He was also secretly considering Puck's offer, though he hadn't breathed a word of that to anyone. It would take more than a few days of Jake's good mood to do that.

But things certainly seemed to be looking up, and right now Kurt would take anything he could get.

The weekend after the one Kurt spent with the new directions, he woke up to find Jake's side of the bed empty. A note was lying on the pillow.

**Babe, **

**I have to work today, last minute thing. I'll be home by 6. **

**Love you! J x**

Kurt sat up after he'd read the note and checked his phone. When he saw the message his heart began to hammer.

Kurt, it's been a million years since I've seen you and I CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER! Any plans for today? – _Blaine mobile_

Kurt couldn't help the huge smile that spread across his face at the text, and the way Blaine always exaggerated everything. He also couldn't help but feel this was meant to be; he hadn't seen Blaine for ages, plus Jake was unexpectedly working today. What could go wrong?

He texted Blaine back, agreeing to meet in central park in an hour. Then he climbed out of bed and got showered and dressed. He sighed as he did so, looking in his wardrobe at all the clothes he hadn't worn since college. Clothes that Jake sneered at, that he was told were inappropriate. He missed them.

"Sorry Marc, sorry Alexander, not right now." He smiled sadly, pulling instead a grey long sleeved top and plain blue jeans from the piles of clothes.

Presently he was ready and walking through the already crowded, very cold, but extremely beautiful streets of New York city. He sniffed and smiled, as he marched through the city listening to his ipod. When he was feeling like this, in some semblance of a happy place, New York seemed even more beautiful to him.

Blaine was already waiting for him when he arrived, leaning against the fence. Kurt couldn't help but notice how absolutely gorgeous Blaine Anderson really was. His curly hair wasn't as gelled as it had been in high school, just slightly tamed by a small amount of gel, enough so that it curled beautifully around his ears. His perfectly groomed eyebrows framed big hazel eyes with the longest lashes Kurt had ever seen on a man. But it was the kindness that Kurt loved the most about Blaine's eyes. Every time he looked at Kurt they were warm with emotion and caring. He trusted Blaine implicitly and he knew he always would. Blaine wore a beautifully tailored black pea coat, dark jeans and brown loafers. He smiled when he saw Kurt.

"Hey!" He yelled excitedly, practically running up to Kurt and scooping him up in a massive hug. Kurt hugged him back hard, breathing in his friend's familiar smell and smiling.

"It's so nice to see you." Kurt choked out, surprised by how emotional he felt when Blaine touched him.

"It's AMAZING to see you." Blaine laughed kindly as he spotted the tears in Kurt's eyes.

As the two boys chatted excitedly, Blaine always kept a hand on Kurt's arm, and both boys were so animated they didn't notice a sandy haired man watching them closely.

The man flipped open his phone and walked away as he begun to talk, still keeping his eye on the men.

"Jake? It's Lucas. You know how you asked me to call you if I saw Kurt with anyone else? Well he's not actually DOING anything, but I wouldn't trust it if I were you..."

x x x x x x x x x x

"I know it's only twelve but I'm sooo hungry!" Blaine whined as the two boys started to walk down the road. "Can we go for lunch soon?"

"Blaine Anderson you and your stomach? You never change." Kurt smirked, enjoying the feeling of walking close to Blaine.

"Just because you like to live on the rabbit diet, doesn't mean we all do!" Blaine teased his friend good naturedly.

"Because I love you, we'll go for some lunch. Is sushi a good middle ground?" Kurt asked, indicating a sushi bar.

"You love me? From Kurt Hummel that's a compliment!" Blaine mock swooned and Kurt laughed, amazed at how comfortable he felt even with all this joking.

"Oh shut your face Anderson. And you didn't answer my question." Kurt smacked his arm.

"Sushi is wonderful." Blaine replied, and they walked into the restaurant.

They were only ten minutes into lunch when Blaine brought up verboten subject as it were.

"How's things with Jake?" Blaine's lips curled as he said the name.

"Things are good." Kurt replied evenly, his eyes not straying from his plate of food.

"Is he still hitting you?" Blaine's voice was filled with malice, and the sentence came out blunt and abrupt, but with a dangerous softness to it as well. Kurt flinched. He wasn't used to this side of Blaine, it rarely came out, and when it did it always alarmed him.

"He hasn't for a long, long time, Blaine. I appreciate that you listened to me and haven't tried to fix things for me. I promise things are going better." Kurt said, swallowing. Their food arrived, and they thanked the waitress.

Blaine speared a piece of sushi and ate it. When he swallowed he looked up at Kurt with his kind eyes. "Are you sure, Kurt? You don't need help?"

"NO, Blaine! How many times?" Kurt groaned, frustrated. He wasn't about to tell Blaine that Jake still shouted and scared him shitless, he knew Blaine's irritating yet endearing knight in shining armour side would come out, and Kurt could not be dealing with anymore drama. Plus there was a small chance that Blaine might get hurt, and that was something that Kurt could not let happen, would die before letting that happen. This was why he'd rejected Blaine all those years ago...Because his life attracted drama and crap and Blaine didn't know what he was getting into.

"What are you thinking about?" Blaine asked, smiling as Kurt looked up. He realised he'd been thinking long, and he grinned at him.

"High school." He answered honestly. "How different everything was."

"It was easier right?" Blaine replied, reaching a hand over the table and resting it on Kurt's. Kurt knew he should resist the movement but it felt nice.

"Tell me about it." He snorted in answer to Blaine's question, before pulling his hand away to continue eating, and the conversation moved away from high school, and Jake, and all the unspoken crap that lay silently between the two boys, and they were able to continue as normal.

X x x x x x x

"I need to go." Kurt said reluctantly. He and Blaine were sat in the park, and despite the cold, Kurt never wanted to move. Watching the world with a latte in his hand and Blaine by his side made him the happiest he'd been since the ND meet up, and he didn't want to move to disturb the happiness.

"I was afraid you'd say that. I don't suppose you'll let me walk you home?" Blaine asked, peering at Kurt through his long lashes.

"You know me so well. And absolutely not. I'll see you soon though, Blaine. And thanks for everything. I've missed our...friendship." Kurt nodded, a lump in his throat the size of a golf ball.

"We'll never not be friends, Kurt ok? And I know you hate it when I say this but I have always, always got your back. If anything bad happens, I'm here for you." Blaine hugged Kurt hard as he said this and Kurt fought off tears with every will he had.

"I know. Bye Blaine." He whispered gently, before pulling his coat tighter around him and walking away from the park.

He was halfway home and lost in his thoughts when his mobile buzzed.

He looked at it, a smile on his face, expecting a stupid message from Blaine, who had a habit of texting him minutes after they'd left each other. But his blood ran ice cold when he saw the text.

I'm home. You're not. – Jake mobile

His heart began to hammer. How long had he been home? If it was just a few minutes he could probably fob him off, a walk, or going to the shops. Kurt swallowed and sprinted the remaining walk home. He ran up the stairs and opened the door. Jake was standing in the living area, his arms folded across his chest.

"Where have you been Kurt?" He asked softly, dangerously.

"A walk. I was bored." Kurt said, his voice an octave or so higher than usual due to his nerves. He pulled his coat off and hung it up, trying to act relaxed.

"Oh ok. Did you see anyone out?" Jake asked conversationally, as he pulled open the fridge and grabbed a beer.

"Nope. Just me myself and I." Kurt answered him, walking towards the table where Jake was unscrewing the beer. He took a long slug, his eyes not leaving his boyfriend the entire time. Then he put the beer down and walked around the table. When he was no less than a few inches away from Kurt he spoke again.

"Then why did Lucas see you fucking frolicking in central park with fucking Blaine?" He didn't shout, and he didn't scream, his voice was calm and even and that made Kurt ten times more afraid, because when Jake did that it usually meant his fists were about to do the talking.

"He's lying." Kurt said as confidently as he could.

"He's not lying, Kurt. Because he managed to describe lovely, boyfriend stealing Blaine to me in detail. I would let it slide, darling. Only I can't. Because he also saw you holding hands in a sushi joint. I mean really, Kurt, really? I always knew you were capable of doing the dirty on me, but on my own doorstep? I'm disappointed in you. Must try harder." Jake's voice was still soft, and his hand was on Kurt's arm, and Kurt felt sick and it was like something was finally clicking, but his brain was hazy and his legs wouldn't move.

"I..." Kurt's voice caught helplessly in his throat, he wanted to tell Jake where to get off, he wanted to run out of this cage of an apartment and never look back but he couldn't, his legs felt like jelly and they wouldn't co-operate with his brain was telling them to do.

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. I've been lenient on you these past few weeks. You don't think I don't know about your secrets texts to Blaine and those fucking friends of yours from that shit hole Lima. I know everything, Kurt and you'd be foolish to think otherwise." Jake was backing Kurt into a corner, and he still couldn't move, his legs were shaking so much he wondered dimly how he was still upright.

"I hate you." Kurt spat, and Jake blanched, obviously not expecting the words to fall out of Kurt's lips.

"What the fuck? You'd be nothing without me!" Jake spat back, taking Kurt's shoulders and shaking them.

"You're the one that's nothing." Kurt's voice was shaking with fear but he didn't let his gaze fall away from Jake's ice blue eyes. "You hit me because you're scared. You need me more than I need you."

He actually saw the moment Jake lost it. One minute his eyes were cold and calculating, the next they were burning with fury. "You'll pay for this you little shit!" He yelled, and he pulled back his fist, and then there was pain, agonising, searing, burning pain in his left cheekbone.

_I'm going to get hurt anyway. May as well see this through. _"You make me feel worthless and crap because you don't want anyone else to have me. And I don't know why it's taken to long to realise that." Kurt snapped, his face so close to Jake's he could feel his breath in cool sharp bursts on his sore cheek. Suddenly Kurt's limbs began to regain feeling and he tried to push his boyfriend away from him, but Jake was tall and sturdy and he barely even moved.

"You ARE worthless and crap!" Jake yelled back, his eyes unfocused with anger, pulling his fist back and hitting Kurt again.

**Pain. **Even though he'd taken hits from bullies, from Jake before, nothing compared to this, compared to how much force and rage Jake was putting into the punches. And it _wasn't stopping. _It was getting worse. Jake punched him one, two, three, four times in the face, then some more, but by then Kurt was losing count and he could barely see, his face felt about 4 times its normal size and everything hurt and he feebly tried to push Jake away but the world was spinning and he felt like he was choking on the coppery taste of his own blood.

Finally the hitting ceased and Kurt fell to the ground, agonized. He thought Jake would leave him, until he felt an explosion of pain somewhere on his torso. Jake was kicking him, and he wouldn't stop, and he winced as he heard a crack that he was 90% sure was at least two of his ribs breaking.

"Stop." He spat the word out through the blood and the swelling. High, maniacal laughter came from above him. Then the hitting continued, it was everywhere, his arms, his legs, his chest, and then all he remembered was darkness, and the door slam and pain, pain, pain.


	10. Chapter 10

**WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Violence. It wasn't pleasant to write, and reading it might make you uncomfortable. **

**The crux of the story pretty much. I wrote and re-wrote this loads, it kept coming out weird. I'm not entirely happy with the end results but you get the gist. Thank you for all alerts and reviews as usual. I AM SO SO SORRY about the late update. I had it all written and then my unreliable laptop broke on me. Again. It's finally fixed and all my uni work has been handed in. I'm writing more as we speak. I promise there won't be another long ass wait. **

**Glee isn't mine. It belongs to the fabulous RIB. **

**Blaine**

Blaine sat down in his apartment, dropping his keys and coat and running a hand through his hair, sighing. Leaving Kurt was always hard, but today it had felt unbearable, every minute he spent without him felt like the darkness was closing in on him. He shouldn't feel this way, had no right to feel this way.

But more than the pain of missing Kurt was the ominous feeling in Blaine's stomach, that was swirling and making him feel uncomfortably nauseous. It was the feeling that somehow, somewhere, Kurt was in trouble.

He knew his feelings were probably irrational. He sounded like he was in some kind of bad romantic comedy. But he knew in his heart of hearts he wasn't being stupid. Since the first day he met Kurt, he'd always felt like he'd had a connection of some sort with him, a connection that would never ever break as long as they both lived, whether they lived together or three thousand miles apart across the ocean.

Before he even knew what he was consciously doing he grabbed his coat and keys and exited the apartment he'd only just sat down in, racing down the stairs and grabbing the first cab he could hail. He told the drive Kurt's address and sat back, his heart thumping. Sure, he could be wrong. But there was no harm in checking if Kurt was ok.

The drive was only ten minutes but it felt like so much longer, and when they finally pulled up, Blaine threw the dollars over the front of the seat. "Keep the change." He gasped, and threw himself out of the taxi and began to buzz Kurt's apartment desperately.

No one answered. Blaine pressed it harder still, his heart hammering in his chest. Eventually he stopped, leaning against the wall. Who was he kidding? Kurt was probably out. He was just about to walk away when he heard a noise come out of the speaker. Then the door was released.

Blaine bolted up the stairs and hammered at the door. Though he'd clearly pressed the door release, Kurt wasn't opening the door, and Blaine was afraid. After knocking a few more times he took a deep breath and squared up. He pushed his whole self, all five foot seven of it, against the door. It didn't budge. He ran at it again, and clearly his fears for his friend gave him some sort of adrenaline rush, because the door busted open, swinging against the wall with a bang.

Blaine walked into the apartment and was horrified by what he saw. He closed his eyes for a second and opened them again, as if he could magic it better by doing so. No. It was still there.

Kurt was lying on the floor by the door, moving slightly, and soaked in his own blood. It also stretched across the floor and up the wall. Kurt was moaning gently and agonisingly as he moved. His face was bruised and swollen, blood leaking out of his lip and nose, his hair matted with blood, a bruised arm around his torso. His clothes were ripped and every area of porcelain skin was dotted with bruising or smears of blood. Blaine took a deep breath and bent down to Kurt, who pulled open one eye tiredly. He tried to move, and failed, curling his arm tighter around his wrecked ribs, a broken moan emerging from his cracked lips.

"Bl..." He gasped, his voice failing halfway through Blaine's name. For a second he wondered if there was anything he could do for Kurt, but another look over his friend's battered body made him realise there was nothing he could do. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialling 911.

"Don't worry, Kurt. Please don't worry. I'm getting help. I'll make you safe. I'll make you better." He murmured softly, stroking Kurt's hand gently, because he was too scared to touch any other part of him in case he fell apart before Blaine's eyes.

As the phone rung, Blaine heard footsteps behind him. He ignored them.

"911, what is your emergency?" Blaine was about to answer when he felt himself shoved across the floor with force. His phone clattered to the ground, and he could hear the operator still talking out of it. He looked up and saw Jake standing over him. Jake picked up the phone and threw it against the wall. Blaine winced as it smashed into pieces, and looked around desperately for another phone.

"What have we here?" Smirked Jake, delivering another kick to Kurt's torso, causing the boy to scream out in an agony that literally broke Blaine's heart. He'd had enough. He couldn't physically watch Jake hurt Kurt any further. Blaine stood up and pushed Jake against a wall.

"How fucking dare you hurt him, I'll make sure you never see daylight as long as you live you fucking swine." Blaine screamed, pushing the six foot two blonde against the wall. Jake smirked further still.

"Nice try." He laughed, "but you'll never save yourself. You made a mistake coming here, Blaine. And I knew you would. I have friends watching this apartment to tell me if my boyfriend is up to no good behind my back."

"He's not your boyfriend." Spat Blaine. Suddenly Jake knee'd him in the groin and Blaine cried out, then Jake put an arm over Blaine's throat to hold him against the wall. Blaine struggled desperately and Jake laughed. He was trapped, and Kurt was losing more blood every second.

"Do what you want with me." Blaine gasped, "but please, PLEASE ring an ambulance for Kurt."

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't. He's a weak one, though, our little Kurt." Jake smirked.

"He's the strongest person I've ever met." Blaine gritted his teeth and struggled more. Jake laughed harshly.

"If he's so strong then why is he lying down there barely moving? I'm about to kill you and your dear little Kurt hasn't even bothered to get up." Jake replied, his eyes trained on Blaine.

At that point, Kurt struggled so hard to move he began to scream at the agony, trying multiple times to get up. "Don't...hurt...Blaine." He gasped, falling back to the ground again and panting, blood bubbling out of his nose.

"Don't move Kurt!" Blaine yelled, "don't move an inch."

"I can't do that baby." Jake whispered sweetly as if he hadn't heard him, his tone setting Blaine's teeth on edge. "See now Blaine knows about our little...argument," Blaine swallowed, disgusted. "And I can't just let him walk away because he'll tell someone and I might get in a little trouble." He kicked Blaine again and Blaine winced.

"Look," Blaine whispered, his eyes darting to Kurt, who now lay immobile on the floor. "Kill me if you want. But please call an ambulance for Kurt. He's losing blood. Please." He hated begging to this man, but he had no other choice. He was cornered, and Kurt was dying. He couldn't watch Kurt die, not here, not like this. He thought asking for a death sentence would be harder, but apparently seeing Kurt like this made everything clearer.

"I think we can make a deal here, Mr Anderson." Jake smiled, his arm still across Blaine's throat. "So here it is. Take it or leave it." Then Jake punched Blaine in the stomach so hard he saw stars. He fell to the ground and Jake walked away. When he returned he held a long kitchen knife.

"Where were we?" Jake continued. "Ah yes. Our deal. And here it lies; I'll ring an ambulance for Kurt here. For you to see, I'm not a dishonest man like you, Anderson. I'll ring the ambulance for Kurt if I get to kill you." He ran the knife blade gently over Blaine's cheek, just hard enough to draw a drop of blood. Blaine swallowed, then looked over at Kurt's still body. He racked his brain but nothing came to it, he had no option, and there was no way he'd watch Kurt die here. Not now, not like this. He deserved more than this.

"I know who you are, Blaine Anderson." Jake was still talking as he ran the knife gently over Blaine's face. "You knew Kurt in high school. Always wanted more from him, didn't you? But he never wanted you, and he still doesn't. He's my property, he will always be my property." 

"He'll never be yours." Blaine snapped.

"So you say you love him." Jake still remained calm. "Do you love him enough?"

"Ring the ambulance." Blaine gasped, "do it NOW."

"Say the deal is on, Blaine." Jake smiled sweetly.

"The deal is on." He replied, lying his head back. Jake smiled, then he pulled his phone out his pocket.

"Hello?" His tone changed the second he was on the phone to the emergency services. "Hi! My boyfriend...and his friend..I just came home...there's blood everywhere, I don't know what to do. Please help me." He reeled off the address and snapped the phone shut. "Now as much as I'd like to draw this out, Blaine, they'll be here soon." His blue eyes were glittering, and he was bringing the knife down to Blaine's throat, and he was saying something else but Blaine wasn't listening to it, he wasn't watching Jake either. He closed his eyes, he didn't want his last memory to be of those cold orbs. He closed his eyes and he saw Kurt's eyes, sparkling and green and alive.

Pain began to explode as the knife began to dig into his neck. He winced, and just as he expected the pain to worsen tenfold, it suddenly stopped. He heard the clatter of the knife as it hit the hardwood floor, and he opened his eyes. He heard a bang and saw Jake fall to the floor unconscious beside him.

Hardly daring to breathe, he glanced over Jake's still body, and could barely believe what he saw. Kurt was lying beside Jake's body, one blood covered hand still clutching a table lamp. Blaine realised Kurt had managed to drag himself up and hit Jake with it just seconds before he killed him. It took five seconds before he realised what he had to do. He stood up and put a foot on Jake's back, grabbing the lamp for defence in case he woke up.

"Kurt, an ambulance is coming right now. You're gonna be ok, I swear. Nothing will hurt you anymore."

"Not...ok." Kurt choked, more blood dripping out of his mouth.

"I know, I know." Whispered Blaine, tears filling up in his hazel eyes. "But you will be. I'll never let you go, ok Kurt? Never." At that moment two paramedics burst into the apartment, along with two cops.

"It's this guy." Blaine said shakily, removing his foot from Jake's back. Jake began to move, and the two paramedics immediately began to deal with Kurt while the cops stood around Jake and Blaine.

"Don't touch anything." One cop called, and then a paramedic walked over to Blaine and said something about coming in the ambulance, and then he was holding Kurt's hand, and they were at the hospital and Kurt was taken away somewhere he couldn't follow, and when they'd cleaned his cuts he simply had to sit and wait, like in a bad hospital drama.


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you thank you thank you for all continuing reviews and alerts. I really, REALLY appreciate what I DO get and it encourages me when anyone comments on my writing, so really I love you guys.

In particular wanted to thank **Cushla-Sophie** for your lovely review :) and to answer your query, yes there will be Burt Kurt interaction. There will be some here, and a lot more later. I love the relationship and I love writing it.

I know I always say this but I rewrote this chapter SO MANY TIMES. I hope it doesn't feel rushed. There will be a lot more talks in the hospital between Blaine, Kurt and Burt in particular. Plus some ND's will be coming back.

Still don't own Glee.

**Kurt**

Kurt was floating. He didn't feel pain, like he knew he should, but to be honest, he didn't feel much of anything. He certainly didn't remember anything. But this place was comfortable, and no feeling was certainly better than the pain, the pain he knew was coming.

A while later he felt something.

It was only a small something, a sensation somewhere in the region of his right side. Maybe his hand. But it was enough. Enough to remind him that as comforting as this place was, it wasn't right. He had to move, had to bring himself back. The pain might finish him off but he'd face it.

He'd face it because something was telling him there was something – or someone – worth going through the pain for.

Waking up was like breaking through the surface of water, and the second he did so, the pain hit him at all angles like a freight train. It was worst in his stomach and torso and chest, and bad in his arms and legs, and oh god it was fucking unbearable in his head.

When he opened his eyes, he saw white walls and staid watercolour paintings and ugly pine furniture. But he felt the presence on his right hand, and he turned his head slightly, wincing at how much pain the small movement caused.

He looked bang into the warm, worried hazel eyes of Blaine Anderson. Of course. Memories flooded back to Kurt and his eyes pricked. Who was he kidding? He wasn't strong enough to deal with this, not to mention the guilt that threatened to overwhelm him. He had almost got Blaine killed.

"Don't worry. I'm not leaving you." Blaine whispered, as if reading his mind, never letting go of Kurt's hand. Kurt tried to say something, anything, but to his horror he began to cry, because the pain and the guilt and the fear overwhelmed him. Blaine pressed a button on the wall, and Kurt was aware of a nurse walking in and adjusting a drip, and then he felt darkness settle over him, and he relaxed into it because he was suddenly aware of how exhausted he was.

The next time he woke up Blaine was gone, and he could hear voices outside in the hall, since the door was ajar. For a few seconds he felt genuinely panicked. He needed Blaine here beside him, hadn't he promised he wouldn't leave him? Kurt couldn't remember, but his palms were sweaty and his heart was hammering. Everything was still so hazy, but the memories were coming back, slowly and painfully. He strained to hear the voices in the hallway.

"What in God's name has been going on here?" He winced as he recognised the voice of his father. He tried to call out, because his dad didn't need this stress, shouldn't have to still be worrying about Kurt at this age, but his voice didn't seem to be working at the same speed his brain was (which wasn't particularly fast either due to the amount of drugs he gathered were being pumped into his body to make the pain only excruciating rather than unbearable.)

"I think you need to hear it from Kurt." That was Blaine's voice, and he sounded broken and exhausted and upset, but he was there and Kurt suddenly could relax, safe in the knowledge Blaine was at least present. The two men turned to the room, and when they saw Kurt was awake, Burt flew to his son's side.

"Kurt." He whispered, his voice so unusually soft and gentle, "what hurts son?" Suddenly Kurt felt sixteen again. Sixteen and home from having endured several locker slams and a slushie for good measure. He felt defeated and tired and young.

"What doesn't hurt."He winced. Ah. Maybe too soon for humour. Burt forced a smile.

"I'm not going to make you talk about it right now. You need to rest..."

"Good, because I don't want to talk about it." Croaked Kurt, looking to Blaine, who smiled reassuringly at him.

"But from what I gather...Jake's been hurting you Kurt?" Kurt looked away from his father's gaze, from his grey green eyes, identical to his own. "Kurt?"

"Yes." Kurt whispered, shame dripping from the one syllable. He felt his father tense, leant on the bed. "Will I have to see him?"

"We don't know yet, Kurt." Blaine put in, as Burt looked to his son's close friend. "Obviously you'll have to testify. But his DNA is all over you, your clothes, the knife..." His voice was shaking, and Kurt suddenly felt tired. Blaine saw his eyelids drooping. "Go to sleep." He whispered.

"Stay with me?" He murmured, his voice already half taken by the drowsiness.

"I'm not going anywhere." Blaine whispered, and that was enough, at least for now, for Kurt to be able to fall into some semblance of peaceful sleep.

**Blaine**

Kurt closed his eyes and Blaine sat down on a chair. He closed his own eyes for a moment, leaning his head on his hand. He was exhausted but sleeping just wasn't a valid option right now. Not while Kurt was so damaged, and still remembering the horrific thing that had happened to him.

The next time Kurt woke up, he was more alert than he had been. After a few words with Burt, the man excused himself for a little while, to give Kurt and Blaine the chance to talk.

Blaine was back in his space beside the bed, holding Kurt's hand. The gesture didn't feel unnatural, in fact it felt as easy as breathing, and as necessary.

"All I remember is pain." Kurt whispered after several minutes of pregnant silence. "One minute he was yelling at me...and the next all I could see was white lights and all I could taste was blood."

"When I came in...Kurt I've never seen so much blood in my life. I was...terrified. And I couldn't see you moving and I freaked, and then you opened your eyes. I called 911, and then...he turned up." Blaine swallowed, appreciating that Kurt didn't need to hear Jake's name right now. "He threw my phone and backed me against the wall."

Kurt looked down at himself, at his bruised and bandaged body, and then he looked back up at Blaine. "I remember him saying he was going to hurt you. I tried to move, but I couldn't. Then nothing."

"He...offered me a deal." Blaine replied. "He said he'd ring you an ambulance if he could kill me." Blaine swallowed and at Kurt through his eyelashes.

There was another silence while Kurt digested this. Whilst he'd known Jake was threatening Blaine, why he'd grabbed the table lamp even in his half dead state, he hadn't known about the deal, and Blaine could see in Kurt's eyes he was shocked. Tears ran down Kurt's cheeks.

"You saved my life." Whispered Kurt. Blaine smiled sadly.

"The truth is, you saved mine first." Blaine replied softly, his eyes glittering. "You saved my life the first day I saw you, on that staircase at Dalton. You saved my life in a million ways you'll never know. Just by being you."

"I feel you, Blaine." Kurt said emotionally, his voice cracking. "I always have. I'm sorry if I've ever done anything to make you feel unwanted. I don't...I don't know what the future holds. All I know is I'm damaged now. Even more than before. I might not ever be the same." Tears were spurting out of his eyes and onto his chin and dripping onto his chest and Blaine began to cry too.

"I won't expect anything of you, Kurt, but I'll always be here, by your side, making it better in any way I can." Blaine replied.

"I do love you." Kurt smiled through his tears. "And I want you. But...I can't promise to give you anything for a long, long time Blaine. Can you deal with that?"

"I've always loved you. Kurt." Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead gently. "You have as long as you need, never forget that."


	12. Chapter 12

**OMG PROM QUEEN. Definitely one of my top five episodes, asdfghjkl! Amazing. **

**Here's an update, it's pretty heavy on the Puck, with a fair bit of Blaine and some Finn. This might feel like it drags or repeats but I'm just trying to stress how long it's going to take Kurt to feel normal again after what happened to him. Enjoy :) T for Noah's language. **

**DON'T OWN GLEE. **

"Where the fuck is that asshole?" Puck had only been on hospital grounds for two minutes, but he was already being physically restrained by both Finn and Blaine.

"Puck, Puck STOP!" Blaine had an arm around Puck's muscular torso whilst Finn used his frankenteen-esque height to his advantage by grabbing Puck's shoulders.

"Why? He needs to be taught a fucking lesson after what he's done to my boy. Nobody messes with Kurt like that without getting a few bones broken." Puck spat, still fighting furiously against the two boys.

"Don't you think I know that? We all want to rip him limb from limb, Puck. I get it. Finn gets it." Blaine said as rationally as he could manage. Puck stopped fighting quite so hard.

"Yeah, man he's my brother. Not by blood but I love him as much, if not more than I could ever love a real brother. You don't think me, Blaine, Burt, all of us haven't considered messing up Jake's face?" Finn sighed, letting go of Puck's shoulders when he was sure the boy wouldn't go and break doors down to find Jake.

"He will get what's coming to him. Believe me." Blaine snapped darkly, "I won't rest until I see him behind bars for this. I promise." He sighed. He knew Puck would go off the rails when he saw Kurt. He'd been the last of Kurt's closest friends to arrive at the hospital, having been at the other end of the country recording when he got the news.

Of course he'd dropped everything and grabbed the first flight to New York that he could. And of course he'd lost it the second he saw the fitfully sleeping Kurt, wincing every time his chest rose and fell, his face a mash of bruises.

But though pretty much everyone had had those urges to hurt Jake, they all knew that Puck up on charges of GBH wouldn't help the situation or Kurt's stress levels one bit.

Puck's breathing was heavy and unmeasured as he glanced down the hall towards the room where his friend lay.

"I just hate feeling like I'm not doing anything to help." Puck swore colourfully several times before punching the wall. Then "how bad is it?"

"Pretty bad." Blaine swallowed. "At least four of his ribs were broken, a couple of others fractured. Broken collarbone. He's got stitches in the bad cut on his head. He lost three pints of blood from his cuts, and there isn't a part of his body that isn't bruised." He shut his eyes and worked on keeping his breathing steady and measured. Puck could see that even talking about Kurt's injuries was causing Blaine intense stress and anger.

Out loud, Puck swore again, then asked, "can I sit with him for a bit?"

"Yeah, Burt's downstairs on the phone sorting things out at the garage so he can be with Kurt." Finn said, patting Puck's shoulder gently. Blaine nodded too.

"Puck, if he wakes up and asks where I am can you tell him I'm just in the canteen trying to sort stuff out on the phone with MY work. And if he asks for me ring me the second he does so. Ok?" Blaine said fiercely, his eyes on Puck.

"Yeah man, of course." Puck replied, and Finn and Blaine walked slowly down to the canteen, leaving Puck alone in the hall. He walked down it and into the room where Kurt lay asleep. He sighed and sat down beside him, threading his hand through Kurt's, his eyes never leaving his friends messed up face.

He couldn't help but feel that he should have known, should have noticed. Because he had noticed, they'd all noticed. He'd become to unlike himself in the past few months, wearing average clothes, looking tired and stressed, distancing himself from his friends, his family and music. The way he was loathe to ever introduce them to...him.

Puck clenched his fist to control his anger. He couldn't remember ever feeling this furious before. He didn't know the ins and outs, he guessed this asshole had been abusing Kurt for a while and it had finally come to this.

He sighed out loud. He wasn't good at sitting out situations calmly, even though he knew in his heart of hearts that Finn and Blaine were right. On top of everything else, he knew Kurt, and knew how much it would stress him out if he went and punched the life out of Jake. No matter how much he wanted too. Plus he knew Blaine was right about one other thing: Jake belonged behind bars.

At that moment he was jerked from his thoughts when he noticed Kurt's face begin to twitch. One eyelid began to shudder and his eyes slowly opened. Puck smiled gently at his friend, because as bad a state he was in, and as hard as it was for Puck to see him so fragile, seeing his sea blue eyes open made everything a little bit better.

"Puck." Kurt's voice was ragged, but he smiled ever so slightly. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work?" 

"You're my best friend. Of course I'm here." Puck replied as gently as his voice ever got, stroking a hand over the area of Kurt's head that hadn't been shaved to make way for the ugly black stitches on the long cut that ran almost to his forehead. "How are you feeling?" 

"Like I got run over by a bus." Kurt grumbled, sounding a tiny bit like his old self. Puck laughed sadly. After a few seconds Kurt glanced around the room. "Where's Blaine?" His voice turned a little, panic lacing the words.

"He's just in the canteen sorting out things with work. I can get him for you if you want." Puck reached for his phone, loathe to do anything that would make Kurt more stressed or upset.

"No, it's fine. I just...like to know he's around. It's probably really selfish of me. He's got a job and a life and I'm dragging him away from all that...I wish I didn't have too, but I'm so scared without him." Kurt whispered.

"Kurt, I'm pretty sure if you told him to go back to work and leave you alone he'd flat out refuse. Nothing is more important than you right now, to any of us." Puck replied.

Kurt shifted awkwardly and a small moan escape from his cracked lips as he did so. Puck was up in a flash.

"Man, what's up? Do you need a nurse, or meds or something?" Puck asked, afraid suddenly of the pain he realised his friend was in.

"Noah...Calm." Kurt muttered between measured breaths. "As much as I'd love even more pain meds right now I think I'm on everything they've got. Everything...Is just gonna hurt for a really long time."

Puck had never understood the expression 'seeing red' before. Sure he'd been angry, he spent most of high school angry about something or another. But never, ever like this before. He actually begun to see the world through a red film. Because this...this...monster had hurt Kurt so badly for no reason that Kurt couldn't even shift his body half an inch without wanting to cry with pain, and that was not ok, that was unforgivable.

He was up in a second, ripping his hand away from Kurt's and heading towards the door, breathing through his nose like a bull, his fists clenched.

"Noah?" Only Kurt's small, desperate voice stopped him in his tracks. He turned to face him, not moving from the doorway. "What?"

"Kurt I can't SIT here and see how hurt you are, I have to go and...he has to pay, I can't deal with this, with you being like that and him still having his face intact." Puck snarled.

"Puck no! You can't, he's...he's at the police station anyway, you can't to him and even if you could...I wouldn't want you too. I don't...want anyone I love near him. I want him gone I want him gone I want him gone." Kurt began to sob, and with every sob he had to clutch hopelessly at his chest, wincing through the tears at how badly they wracked his messed up body.

Puck ran over to Kurt, who was shaking and shuddering and sobbing, and rubbed his arm. "Kurt, man breathe I promise I won't do anything."

"G-get..." Kurt's words were incoherent with anxiety. "Blaine." He managed to spit out at last, and Puck grabbed his phone.

"I'm coming." Blaine muttered the second he picked up, and hung up within three seconds. Puck continued to rub Kurt's arm to try and calm him down a little, but he was still stressed when Blaine bolted into the room.

"Kurt, my love it's ok." Blaine pelted to Kurt's side and picked up his hand. Puck edged away slightly. Blaine stroked Kurt's hair as he soothed him. "It's all gonna be ok. I'll keep you safe, I promised, remember?"

"It's...not...ok." Kurt gasped, and no matter how much Blaine tried to calm him down he couldn't, no matter how much he talked and stroked his hair, Kurt only got more worked up. Eventually Blaine, his face torn with worry and fear, stabbed at the button on the wall. Within a minute two nurses were in the room, and one was adding something to a drip that was attached to a tube that was (one of the many) attached to Kurt and after a couple more minutes Kurt's eyes closed mid sob, and his body was still and his hand went limp in Blaine's, and Blaine still stayed holding his hand for several minutes after.

Puck stayed silent, and eventually Blaine released his grip when he was sure Kurt was settled. He sat back in the chair and closed his eyes.

Eventually, Blaine spoke.

"That's the third time he's had an anxiety attack that bad." Blaine stated slowly. "He's anxious most of the time anyway, I wouldn't expect anything less. But these bad attacks, they terrify me. He's so...broken."

"You were there. It must be...for you. You had to see him." Puck replied, sitting in the chair by the end of the bed.

"I thought he was dead, Puck. And...there were no words. Then he survived, he pulled through with that strength in him that we all love so much. But now...everything is going to be so damn hard, as if it wasn't hard enough already." Blaine put his head in his hands. "I wish I could make it all better." He murmured into his palms.

"He's got us. He's got his dad. He's got you. And he's Kurt freaking Hummel." Puck said lightly, "if anyone can do it, he can."


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello. :) chapter 13, in which Jake is a nasty piece of work. **

**Still don't own Glee. **

Burt, Blaine and Finn were all sitting around Kurt's bed, talking, when there was a knock on the door. Two police officers stood there, grave looks on their faces. Blaine could literally feel his heart sinking in his chest. Whatever they were about to say, he knew it wasn't good. He looked anxiously at Kurt, who had a fearful expression on his face.

"If we could speak to Mr Hummel and Anderson alone please?" One said stiffly.

"I'm Kurt's father, I'd like to be here. And this is his brother." Burt said gruffly. The police officers nodded and took seats the hospital staff had brought in for them. They shook hands first with Kurt and then with Blaine, Burt and Finn.

"We're here in regards to Jake Elsson." The female one said gently. Blaine thought he heard Finn mutter "thank you Captain Obvious" as she did so.

"What about him? I mean...I identified him the other day...his hand prints...they were over everything..." Kurt said, his voice catching in places.

"Yes, Kurt you did identify Mr Elsson correctly, but I'm afraid he's not willing to play ball." The stiff, male officer replied.

"How so?" Asked Burt angrily.

"Mr Elsson is pleading not guilty." The female one said, her face regretful.

"Not guilty? Are you kidding me? He's guilty as sin and it's obvious to anyone!" Blaine spat furiously.

"This doesn't mean..." Kurt stuttered.

"The case will go to court." It was a statement from Burt, not a question, and both officers nodded. "My son is gonna have to go to court, and see this man and testify?"

"If he chooses to take the case up against him, yes." The male officer said.

"Of course he will! Look at him!" Blaine yelled, furious.

"I..." Kurt began to gasp and Blaine stroked his hair. "Calm down, Kurt. Breathe."

"I'm truly, truly sorry about this." The female officer sounded much more regretful than the male. "Legally he doesn't have a leg to stand on, but I know this makes everything more difficult."

"You're damn right it does." Burt snapped.

"We'll give you some time." The two officers left the room, and Blaine leaned against the wall, despair creeping over him. Kurt would have to relive this. Tell what happened to a judge. Look Jake in the eye. How could he do this to him? How could he still be such an absolute evil bastard? Blaine looked at Kurt who looked terrified and angry and was shaking violently.

"I can't do this...I can't see him...please, don't make me." Kurt whispered, his voice shaking as much as his hands.

"Kurt, look at me." Blaine said, clutching his hand. "I know this seems like a terrible thing and it is. But you can do it. I know you can. You're getting better, you can sit up by yourself now."

"Oh fantastic! Why should I feel grateful that I can sit up by myself? I'm twenty four and I can barely move and it's all his fucking fault, so quite frankly I really don't feel particularly happy about this marvellous development in my recovery, Blaine." Kurt snapped, folding his arms across his chest and wincing as he did so.

"I'll get the nurse, you're in pain." Blaine said gently.

"I don't WANT the nurse, or more fucking drugs." Kurt spat, his voice coarse and rough and his language vulgar, so unlike his usual smooth eloquent voice. "They make me feel like shit and sleep all the time. I'm sick and tired of relying on drugs."

"My love I KNOW you're angry about what just happened, but you can't let this set you back." Blaine held Kurt's hand hard, "you can't let him win."

"He won! Blaine he won the day he did this to me, the day he did this to us! I don't know if I'll ever be able to let anyone touch me again, if I'll ever feel safe again, every time I sleep I see his face, I can't move and I'm in so much pain I'm relying on drugs to get me through the day." Kurt snapped, swallowing hard. "I wish he'd killed me. I wish I was dead."

"Don't say that. Don't fucking say that." Blaine whispered, his voice thick with tears unshed.

"I'll say what I like, Blaine! It's me who's lying in this fucking bed unable to move, me who's going to have to stand up in court and look him in the eye and tell a load of strangers how broken I am, how my life is in tatters. Don't tell me what to do." He yelled. By now his voice was raised and furious.

"Kid you need to calm down." Burt stroked his son's hair. "I know you can do this, you're strong enough." 

"People need to stop saying that." Kurt gritted his teeth. "Can't you see I'm not strong enough? If I was strong enough I wouldn't be lying here. If I wasn't weak I'd never have been with him in the first place." 

"Stop it, Kurt. Stop blaming yourself like I know you do." Blaine whispered gently.

"I blame you." Kurt spat, his bruised face twisted with anger. "If you hadn't come round and been all over me that day..." Even in his furious state he regretted the words the second they tumbled out of his mouth. Blaine looked at Kurt for a few seconds and then ran out of the room without a backward glance, tears trickling over his eyelids before he could stop them.

"Kurt I know you're upset, and you're angry and you're hurt and what happened today has made all of that feel ten times worse. And I know these drugs you're on make you feel loopy. But you cannot treat Blaine like that, kid. He's been here every single night, sitting there, barely sleeping, barely eating, bending over backwards to make sure you're as happy and as comfortable as possible. People like that, they don't come around very often. Once in a lifetime. You can't throw that away no matter how angry you are." Burt said.

Kurt looked upset and guilty and angry, and then suddenly his head began to loll. Another side effect of one of the medley of drugs he was taking was near enough permanent drowsiness.

"Finn, stay here with him, I'm going after Blaine." Burt said, and Finn nodded and sat down beside his step brother. Burt walked out of the room and started down the hallway. It didn't take long to find Blaine, who was sat on the floor against the wall, his head bent, his hands gripping his curly hair tightly. Burt crouched down beside him, ignoring the twinge in his lower back, and laid a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Blaine, don't worry about it, he doesn't mean any of it. The drugs.." Burt said gently.

"He's right though." Blaine whispered brokenly, looking up at Burt through his tears. His tone of voice broke Burt's heart.

"No. He's not right, This was nobodies fault but that psychopath." Burt said fiercely. "You've been nothing but a pillar of strength to Kurt and he knows it."

"I went round there...and I hugged him that day...If I..." Blaine began but Burt interrupted him.

"If you hadn't have gone round Kurt might not still be here. You gave your life to save his, kid." Burt rubbed his arm. "Don't blame yourself because there are a few evil people in this world. You are a good person, Blaine. Really good. Never forget that."

"I hate him so much." Blaine mumbled. "How dare he plead not guilty and say this bullshit about Kurt attacking him with a knife?"

"I know." Burt gritted his teeth. Kurt having to testify was the thing he'd least wanted him to have to do. Having to stand up in court after what he'd been through, having to look that man in the eye and relive the horror all over again.

"I'm so scared all the time." Blaine said softly. "What if Kurt has a bad turn and dies? What if this was all my fault? What if Jake gets found not guilty? What if he comes after us? What if Kurt never recovers?" Blaine was finally voicing everything that had clearly been terrifying him since the attack.

"Buddy, you can't think like that." Burt said sharply, "you'll never get through it otherwise. We'll never get through it."

The two stayed there for a little while longer, as if in comfort of each other. Blaine and Burt had bonded over the incident, having been the two most around Kurt while he slept, and Burt couldn't imagine anyone more perfect for his son than Blaine. Kind, considerate, thoughtful, selfless Blaine, who put Kurt first no matter what, who lay his life on the line for his son, who was exhausted to the point of collapse but was too worried to sleep, who was probably giving up friends and maybe even employment to be with his friend twenty four seven.

Eventually Blaine ran a hand through his mad curls one last time and stood up.

"I'm going back to him." Blaine nodded, and Burt smiled gently.

"Ok, kid. I need to make some calls, I'll just be downstairs if either of you need me." Burt patted Blaine's shoulder one final time and headed off down the hallway.

Blaine took a deep breath and walked back towards Kurt's room. The boy was still sleeping and Finn sat by his side, his head leaning on his hand.

"Can I sit by him for a bit?" Blaine asked, and Finn nodded.

"Course, bro. I wanna drink anyway, and I need to call Rachel. She's been going ape..." Finn headed to the door and before he walked out, he looked back to Blaine. "None of this was your fault. Just saying."

"Thank you Finn. I appreciate that." Blaine said slowly, and Finn grinned, ducking his head in an embarrassed fashion before heading out of the room.

It was dark by the time Kurt woke up after the showdown. He turned his head and saw Blaine sitting beside him, holding his hand. He was asleep. His long eyelashes fell on his soft skin, skin darkened by deep, heavy shadows. Blaine was leaning on his hand, his neck at a weird angle.

Kurt felt terrible. Terrible for the words he didn't mean, words he said because he was angry, not with Blaine, but with Jake, with the world, with these drugs that made him not himself. Blaine was giving up near enough everything for Kurt, staying up at all hours simply to hold his hand. And this is how he repaid him.

Wanting to apologise, but not wanting to wake his exhausted friend he simply squeezed his hand and watched Blaine as he dozed.

After a few minutes Blaine's eyelids began to shudder. Slowly his tired eyes opened and the first thing they were met with was Kurt's green blue ones.

"I'm sorry." Kurt whispered, his voice choked. "I didn't mean it. Any of it."

"I know. I know." Blaine leaned over and kissed Kurt gently on the forehead. Kurt closed his eyes. It felt nice.

"I'm just...messed up. I'm sorry." Kurt apologised again, believing he could never get the word out enough for how terrible he felt. "I don't blame you. It's not your fault...you saved my life." He wanted to say it better, wanted to tell Blaine how lost he'd be without him, how he felt like they were two halves of a whole and how much he appreciated how much Blaine was sacrificing to sit here with him day and night, even though it must be boring and uncomfortable. But he couldn't get the words out, and Blaine seemed to understand.

"Hey, hey. I know. I understand. Don't fret please." Blaine murmured, moving his lips to Kurt's mussy hair and kissing there too. He kept his face buried in his hair, his crooked nose squished amongst the brown locks. When he pulled away Kurt was sleeping again, and Blaine stroked his hand. "I love you." He whispered, before closing his own eyes again.


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm sorry about the wait. I've had a bad case of that terrible illness – writers block – when it came to this story. I've sat here for literally hours staring at a blank word document and coming up with nothing. **

**Now here's this. I hope you enjoy it. These hospital chapters might be dragging but I can't gloss over his recovery, it's a long road. **

**Also as it goes on I'm having to speak more about Kurt's injuries and the court case. I am neither a doctor nor a lawyer (I'm a fashion journalism student, for anyone who cares) so I've had to google and ask friends in way of finding out how these things would work. If the details aren't perfect or don't always add up it's not me being sloppy, it's just I don't know a lot of stuff. Plus I'm British, so I have no idea what the legal system is like in the states or if I'm using the right terms for stuff. **

**That was a long authors note, wow. Sorry about that. **

**I DON'T OWN GLEE.**

**Blaine**

Kurt's recovery was slow. So painfully slow. Every day was difficult, every new step he managed to achieve was like running a marathon.

His physical condition was terrible. In total six of his ribs were broken or fractured in some way, and more were bruised. There wasn't, in truth, much of his porcelain skin that wasn't covered in bruises, and it always shocked Blaine when a nurse came in to bathe him, and he had to look at his body, which pretty much looked like one big bruise in varying shades of purple, brown and yellow.

The cut on his head ran from near his hairline to just behind his ear, which was why the majority of his hair had to be shaved. The ten stitches in the cut ran in little raised ridges over his head. His nose had been broken but had been set back quickly and apart from looking a tiny bit less dead centre than before it looked ok. His face was bruised and there were various cuts where Jake had clearly scratched his face. Cuts also covered his thighs, stomach and upper arms. Blaine lost count of the amount of stitches they had to use to put Kurt back together again.

His collarbone was broken and because of the way it broke, and the damage to the rest of him causing stress and generally making Kurt's healing process ten times slower than it could have been, the surgeon had to repair the fracture surgically, rather than letting it heal with a sling and bed rest. As far as Blaine was concerned it was just one more operation, which meant more pain for Kurt to go through, more drugs, more stress.

He had never hated anyone like he hated Jake. He hated him with every fibre of his being for causing this much pain to Kurt, who never, ever deserved anything this bad to happen to him. He hated him so much sometimes he wanted to find him and hold him down and torture him until he was on his knees begging Blaine for death, begging Blaine for forgiveness. He hated him, and it scared him the amount of anger he felt towards Jake whenever he looked at Kurt. When Kurt would try to do something as simple as turn over by himself and couldn't, and then when he couldn't he'd get frustrated and he'd cry and that would cause him pain too. It seemed like there was nothing Kurt could do that wouldn't hurt him.

It wasn't just Kurt's physical condition that was in such bad shape. Mentally, Kurt was a mess. He would only let Blaine, Burt, Puck and Finn touch him, and he'd begun to only trust one or two nurses. One day a male doctor came in and tried to do his vitals and he'd had a panic attack so bad they'd had to give him yet more drugs to calm him down.

"I don't know what to do to help." Burt said desperately to the doctor the day that happened.

"Mr Hummel, Kurt was badly hurt by someone he thought he could trust. It's natural for a patient to act this way when they've been through a trauma." The doctor said gently, a hand on Burt's arm.

"What can I do to make it better?" Burt begged, as Blaine listened in the doorway, keeping one eye on a fitfully sleeping Kurt.

"I suggest a therapist. When he's out of here, which I think will be in a couple of weeks, I will give you a number for a therapist. I suggest at least weekly sessions. It sounds like a crock but I promise you talking about it will help Kurt, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. Apart from that, and giving him a strong support network, I can't suggest anything else." The doctor said, before excusing herself to see an urgent patient.

Burt sighed and turned to see Blaine hovering in the doorway. Both men had a lot on their minds. Both had had to take compassionate leave from their jobs for the time being, and while for now both of their bosses were sympathetic, that could only last so long. More so for Blaine, who's work was more erratic but also made him more replaceable. He really hoped he still had a job when he returned to work. Luckily the money he hadn't been spending on living costs recently had meant he was in no danger of losing his apartment.

He couldn't bring himself to care about any of that right now though. He knew living in a hospital, and barely sleeping or eating and hiding from everything in his life probably wasn't the way to deal with this, but he couldn't face it any other way. The only thing that mattered to him was Kurt. Once Kurt was a little better he'd begin thinking about all those other things. For now he just couldn't worry about them.

Kurt's friend visited when they could, and when Kurt was having a good day. Puck came a lot, so did Rachel. Finn was, of course, there often, as were Mercedes and Quinn. Every boy from New Directions had had to be restrained at one point or another from trying to go and start a beat down on Jake, and it did make Blaine smile half heartedly. With all these people who loved and protected Kurt, there was no way he'd get hurt again. He had to stop worrying about that.

Jake hadn't been granted bail. When they'd been told Blaine had felt like a little weight had been lifted. He knew Jake's bail conditions would have been crazily strict anyway, but the fact that he would stay locked away until the case at least made everything a little better. They could clearly see how dangerous Jake was, and that was at least something. Finally Jake wasn't fooling anyone.

The case date was set for a month later. When Kurt was told he nodded and then looked away and began to talk to Burt about something unrelated, but Blaine noticed the way his hands began to tremble. A month. It didn't seem long enough, barely gave Kurt time to recover even a little bit. A month of worrying and sleepless nights thinking about it.

Jake was up on trial for assault. In Blaine's mind it should have been attempted murder, surely? For that Jake could go down for twenty years, and it scared Blaine more and more everyday that Jake could be out in five years, or less. Five years and he could be walking the streets again and Blaine couldn't even imagine what that would feel like.

But he had to stop thinking about it. Kurt and his recovery were all that mattered. For now.

**Kurt**

It was hard to not be a miserable, childish, irritable brat whilst in hospital. He knew sometimes he didn't succeed, and he felt truly terrible when he snapped at the nurses, the doctors, his friends and family, especially Blaine and his dad, who were giving so much to be with him. He just couldn't help it sometimes. He'd never felt more truly helpless in his life. He hated lying in this bed unable to move without feeling a flash of pain somewhere. He despised the drugs that made him loopy, not just your basic tylenol for the pain but a myriad of other drugs that were being dripped into him on a regular basis making him feel crazy and snappy and drowsy and unlike himself. The person he was when he was drugged certainly wasn't the Kurt Hummel he'd always known, and it scared him senseless.

He hated feeling scared all the time. He knew _he _was in prison, NOT granted bail (finally some good news) locked up, he couldn't get to Kurt, or Blaine. But every night when Kurt closed his eyes all he could see was his face, hitting him or hitting Blaine. The only good thing was that when he woke up his blood running cold with fear, Blaine would always be there, hands entwined.

He also wished the pain would just go away. His shoulders and upper chest still hurt when he moved suddenly, his rib cage was by far the most painful area, so much so that on a bad day even breathing heavily would cause tears to prick in his eyes. Everything hurt, everything was so fucking sensitive. He was bored of being treated like a china doll, but it was difficult to complain when he _felt _like one.

Sometimes it was hard to see anything clearly. Through the drugs and the pain he didn't know what to do, so mostly he slept and held Blaine's hand and had easy conversations with his dad and Blaine and Finn and Mercedes and Puck. Conversations that mostly weren't about court cases or abusive boyfriends or broken ribs. It was all painfully hanging over them every second of every day anyway, why bring it into every conversation?

But through everything, through all the feelings of sadness and depression that plagued him while lying in his hospital bed, he could feel a slither of hope in his heart. It was barely anything, a chink of light through a doorway, a small feeling of lightness, but it kept him holding on.

That hope was Blaine. The fact that after everything terrible that happened, they had been brought together after so many years apart, and found out they were two halves of a whole, two people who were meant to be together.

Because Kurt didn't doubt that. He didn't doubt that Blaine Anderson was his other half. How could he not be? They'd both been so willing to sacrifice everything for each other, and now Blaine was here every day and every night just to make sure he felt safe.

Kurt was broken, and it would take a long time before he felt ok again. But he had this wonderful man by his side, this man who despite everything had never, ever given up on Kurt. He also had an amazing family and a group of friends who were willing to protect him no matter what.

So when Kurt found himself sinking into the darkness while his ribs were aching and his head felt dizzy because of the drugs, and fear clasped his heart like a cold hand, he just had to think of those things, and it would pull him up just a little.

Everyone needs a little hope.


End file.
